Today, I took my puppy outside to play. At one point, she stopped chewing on her toy and ran over to give me a big kiss all over my face and mouth. A few minutes later I realized that her chew toy was actually the dried up carcass of a toad. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my puppy came into my room, and I cupped his head in my hands and bent down to kiss him. As I did, I realized that the part of his head I was kissing was covered in his own shit that he'd seemingly been rolling in. FML
Today, I was playing with my dog, when she started sniffing my face. Jokingly, I got up and started to sniff her face back and asked "Yeah, how do you like that?" She replied by biting into my face. FML
Today, I hugged my dog and kissed her on the side of the face. She responded by mauling me across my own face. FML
Today, my dog got so excited about a new toy that she vomited all over it. I had to clean up the vomit, throw away the toy, and now have a very sad dog. FML
Today, my dog thought it would be a good idea to use my phone as a chew toy. FML
Today, I told my mom that the puppy she was cuddling had a piece of dried poo stuck to its butt. Her reaction was to pluck the poo with her bare hands, put it on the coffee table next to my food, and continue cuddling. FML
Today, my sweet 7-month-old puppy ran up to a big fat dog at the park and did what she always does: roll over on her back to start to play. The big fat dog lifted his leg and peed all over my puppy's belly. After the shock, my soaking wet puppy jumped on me. FML
Today, I heard my dog chewing on something. I called her over, held out my hand, and told her to drop it. She dropped it into my hand, and I was proud of her. That was until I realized it was cat poop. FML
Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML
Today, while walking my dog in the darkness, I bent down to pick up his poop. I screamed like a little girl as his morning turd leapt up my arm, covering my hand and jacket sleeve in soggy poop. My dog had curled one out onto a dozing frog. I skipped breakfast. FML
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Top comments
Hacksaw 4
D'awwwww. Puppies are the bestest.
xtraonionsnomayo 0
That's puppy love for you.
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Comments (69)
kukopia 0
YDI for letting your dog use something it found for a chew toy. A responsible dog owner would give it real chew toys and teach it to ONLY chew on them AND they would NOT let the dog chew on anything else until they learned that lesson. FtDL - Fvk the Dogs Life
Mooshki 0
Dogs lick their asses and eat puke & shit they find on their walks. NEVER let one give you a kiss.
jdizzle1245 0
I Seriously doubt that that was the only thing on his tounge.
morpher910 0
my dog eats out of the litter box of my cats. i much prefer cats, and hate when people come in and think he's just a cute little dog. -_-
fml_seriouslyfml 0
ydi for letting your dog lick your face... i love my dog, but i never let her lick my face... i know she licks her private parts (and chews on god knows what else) and i don't want that on my face... you should know better
ElNegroHombre 0
Don't you love puppies?
mumafiedmustangs 0
throwing the hell up thats whorable
hahafmls 8
wtf?
Crlnprz 11
Ew.... why wud even let ur dog like u on ur face or mouth i dont let my dog do tht
cocky 0
wait.. you let a dog lick your face and you're worried about the ******* dead frog?! I'm gonna let you in on a little secret, you fucktard.. your dog licks his own asshole so the frog isn't quite so bad.
yowzerz 5
People who let their dogs lick their face and mouth are disgusting. YDI.