Today, I took my dad out shopping. I managed to pull into a really cramped parking spot and said, "Man, that was a tight squeeze." My dad then looked me in the eyes and said, "So was your mom." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad made me stick my gut out and walk around awkwardly, just so I'd look pregnant and let him get away with parking in an "expectant mothers" parking spot. FML
Today, while shopping, my dad asked me to walk further away from him, saying I was cramping his style in front of all the chicks there. FML
Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper. As we walk out I see these two attractive guys that I know. My dad gets that I think they're cute, so he shouts "Hey babe, how's your stomach feeling now? Will this be enough for you?" They walk away laughing. FML
Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML
Today, as my brother parked in our hotel's parking lot, I told him to be careful because the car wasn't straight. He retorted, "Yeah, just like you". My mother was in the back seat and heard everything. I hadn't come out yet. FML
Today, I was out shopping with my mom. While we were walking, a guy in a car honked at me. I'm not used to compliments, so I was pretty flattered and flashed him a smile. He looked back at me, confused, then shook his head and pointed at my mom. FML
Today, I illicitly borrowed my dad's car to go to the store, but crashed into my mom's car as she and dad were returning from my grandma's house. Both cars are totalled, my mom is in hospital with a broken collarbone, and I realised dads really can make steam come out their ears if they’re really mad. FML
Today, my father and I were out in town when a lady walked up and commented on what a great looking couple we were. My dad puts his arm around me and says, "Thank you! We've been together for 17 years." FML
Today, I borrowed my dad's car to run a quick errand, which he never lets me do. I thought I’d got away with it until he got home and started yelling. I forgot, dad always reverses into driveways, while I prefer to drive straight in, and I'd parked his car facing the wrong way. FML
Today, I was at the mall with some friends. In the food court we passed by this creepy pervert feeling up a woman. I take a closer look and realize with horror that the guy is my dad in sunglasses and a hat. The lady he was with was not my mom. FML
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Top comments
MassiDelta 28
Some say OP is still cringing to this very day...
Mechazilla2 15
On the bright side, he didn't say " so was your sister."
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Comments (70)
Geek_Freak 13
Omg. I'm dead! ????
melanielovejeff 15
No man. Some things should be left unsaid.
Enzymatically 14
Sounds like he has a good sense of humor
SquirrelNutty 5
wrong! wrong! wrong! it's just wrong on every level!
JoseTheSmexican 11
Lol me when im a dad
hiddenfromsight 7
Dude your dad is freakin awesome
llexibearr 17
i should not be laughing as hard as i am.
Yolofrodo 5
You have an amazing father.