Today, as my brother parked in our hotel's parking lot, I told him to be careful because the car wasn't straight. He retorted, "Yeah, just like you". My mother was in the back seat and heard everything. I hadn't come out yet. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom let my younger brother borrow my car. He managed to crash it through the garage door. While I was in another country. Somehow, I manage to get berated by my mom because I'm not doing enough to make my brother feel better about him having an accident involving my car and my house. FML
Today, I spent an evening teaching my younger brother how to parallel park before his driving test. After an hour, he finally parked perfectly between two cars. I was so proud that I told him we'd nailed it. Then we noticed we were parked in front of someone's driveway. FML
Today, I got in the car with my brother, who drives all the time with his eyes glued to his phone. We stopped at a red light, it turned green. I noticed that he was still looking down and told him the car ahead was moving. I then got screamed at, saying how I'm always right, how my friends suck, and how he wished I was dead. FML
Today, I took my dad out shopping. I managed to pull into a really cramped parking spot and said, "Man, that was a tight squeeze." My dad then looked me in the eyes and said, "So was your mom." FML
Today, my mom was driving with my brothers and sister in the back seat. She was turned around talking to us, when my sister told my mom that she missed the light. She ran it, then screamed at us about not paying attention and noticing your surroundings. FML
Today, my brother "borrowed" my car and keys without asking me. He came back 4 hours later, alone and pale faced. It took half an hour of questions, interrogation, and finally threats before he admitted that my car is sitting in a ditch a few miles away, probably totaled. FML
Today, I borrowed my dad's car to run a quick errand, which he never lets me do. I thought I’d got away with it until he got home and started yelling. I forgot, dad always reverses into driveways, while I prefer to drive straight in, and I'd parked his car facing the wrong way. FML
Today, my brother put a sign on my car saying, "No baby on board, feel free to drive into me." Somebody did. FML
Today, I was reversing my brother's car out of a driveway. I turned to my friend in the passenger seat and said, "Check it out, I'm so good at reversing!" Next minute there's a huge bang. I had just reversed into a tree and shattered the windscreen. FML
Today, while arguing with my boyfriend about how I wasn't a bad driver and could parallel park, I thought it would be easier to just let him do it. Unfortunately, while getting out of the car to switch seats, I forgot to take the car out of drive and it ran into the car in front of us. He was right. FML
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Top comments
WCARlover 35
"...SURPRISE!"
abbyade 21
That is so unfair. Your brother shouldn't have done that. Anyway, use I hope you used the opportunity to your advantage. Goodluck Op.
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Comments (90)
WCARlover 35
"...SURPRISE!"
Oyas12 14
well, in murica, this is joke, mate
Girlshotdown1 21
I hate that word " Murica"
lilbird187 9
No one gives a shit, about what you like
abbyade 21
That is so unfair. Your brother shouldn't have done that. Anyway, use I hope you used the opportunity to your advantage. Goodluck Op.
catherinecas 30
That's a super common joke to make though. And my sister makes bi jokes about all the time but my dad (who doesn't know) assumes she's being annoying. We also make the same jokes about my brother (with his girlfriend).
TH_Insomniak 15
literally everyone in my family and circle have made some sort of gay joke about me, the best way to curve a joke is to jokingly go along with it. usually I Just wink at them though. (then again I do go both sides so it doesn't effect me anyways)
epicx22 22
Honestly, I'd reply with " We all know that " and then wink. My family makes gay jokes all of the time, and it's easy to go along with.
AC98 19
Well guess you don't have to worry about when you want to come out anymore.
tanziir1 14
Your brother is an ass hole
photographer49 22
#4 True but OP could have played it off like they were poking fun at eachother.
caseyface1123 15
Could have just been an accident. OP might have come out to just her brother or something years ago and it slipped
Brandi_Faith 34
I agree with 22. This is a very common joke and op could've just played it off as if the brother was just joking around. There's also a possibility your brother meant it as a joke forgetting that you're gay and the implications/repercussions of saying it. If he said it on purpose to be mean, than that's a different story and you should talk to him about it, but I imagine he was joking around and did it by accident.
freaky78 10
Everyone who is saying the brother is a jerk... Maybe he isn't, sounds like he was just giving his brother a hard time like brothers do.
NickACD 27
The LGBT community is a corrupt bunch of fuckmunchs.
tygerarmy 35
That one chick, what freaky is saying is that's just something some brothers say. Regardless of whether the OP is gay or not. Brothers will call each other names, gay being one of them. Now you can argue that societally we should move past that, but we haven't, and if the OP would've joked back or laughed it off it wouldn't be outing him.
DoomedGemini 38
For me, at least, it wasn't that easy when I wasn't out. My brother would make jokes like that, and it would make me freeze like a deer in headlights. My body got cold and my breathing stopped. People typically aren't out because of fear, coming close to that can make people freeze up in fear and stop them from brushing it off smoothly to avoid suspicion.
ub3rpwn4g3 9
I love it how people say "non-LGBT" like straight people are the ones that aren't normal.
hahanope 11
They definitely aren't.
Xamry14 10
But it's a common joke to say to straight people as well. He could have just went along with it like it was purely a joke.
TheGolfGTI 24
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Well that wasn't wheelie nice.
XxDanno316xX 27
Please tell me this was not your attempt at a car pun. please :)
TheGolfGTI 24
It was. I'm sorry.
Aurora94 20
You have to be car(e)ful around here. These people dont understand humour.
staminprime 12
#42 had an even worse pun... so dont feel bad
nickie_94 18
He took care of that for you. He definitely owes you for it though!
WinterChild 20
I'm sure your mom didn't take that as you coming out?
amileah13 26
What an awful way to come out, being forced into it. I'm sorry that it was under your conditions op :/
Timmip12 9
OMG ik op is in such a bad position because of their brother making a joke
amileah13 26
Ahhhh sorry guys autocorrect changed my wasn't to was! It was supposed to be wasn't under his conditions and I didn't check it after submitting it my bad!
Dale_shackleford 13
Unless you explained it, it just sounds like the kind of thing brothers say to each other. I wouldn't suspect someone of being gay just someone made a joke. Even if it was family
leogachi 15
@11 Especially if it was family.