Today, I took away my 8-year-old daughter's toy for throwing it too many times. She then said, "I need a beer." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 8 year-old adopted daughter told me she wants me to take her back so another family can adopt her because I don't give her enough toys. FML
Today, my two year old daughter did not want to leave the toy store, when I picked her up she started screaming at the top of her lungs, "YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY!". FML
Today, I took away my daughter’s candy bar, saying, “Princesses never eat sweets.” She spent the next few hours crying, because she “didn’t want to be a princess anymore." FML
Today, I went into my fridge and someone had drank all the beer. Only my 8-year-old son lives with me. FML
Today, after being fed up with my sarcastic, mouthy daughter, I decided to remove her TV from her room. I dropped it on my foot and broke two toes. She promptly said, "That's what you get." FML
Today, I was telling my teenage daughter about the effects from alcohol, and how she should not give in to peer pressure. While talking, I noticed that she was looking at me funny. There was a wine glass in my hand. FML
Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML
Today, I went to visit some family out of state for my niece's birthday. I couldn't think of what to get an 8-year-old so I got her a Barbie doll. Everyone else got her money, iPods, game consoles, etc. When she got to mine she asked "how do I turn it on?" Then threw it away when she couldn't. FML
Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML
Today, my 6-year-old daughter threw a tantrum in the middle of a store, all because I wouldn't buy her a pushup bra. FML
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Top comments
DerrickJames 33
Children are model learners. Be a better model or keep them around better models.
wheresmymary 22
They grow up so fast
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Comments (69)
Devtyro 14
Don't blame her 3rd grade is rough.
glassmatador 14
Wonder where she's heard that before?
peterburk 5
She probably wants a teddy "bear".
ncbb14 13
Get that child a beer then!
desbuhbear 22
I wonder who taught her that.
Jonkbaby 23
Make her drink a beer
kbecks87 16
She's 8. She's trying (and apparently succeeding) to get a reaction out of you.
hamstermachine 11
Did she mean bear? :/
subzero22 8
Buy some root beer and when she says that next time give her that. Lol jk but still wonder where she learned that from?
rydin10 18
OP, if my kid said that to me I would laugh my a** off. I wouldn't worry about it too much, she was either looking to be funny or to be like the person she first heard it from.