Today, I took away my 8-year-old daughter's toy for throwing it too many times. She then said, "I need a beer." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, my 8 year-old adopted daughter told me she wants me to take her back so another family can adopt her because I don't give her enough toys. FML
Today, my two year old daughter did not want to leave the toy store, when I picked her up she started screaming at the top of her lungs, "YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY!". FML
What about king-size chocolate bars?
Today, I took away my daughter’s candy bar, saying, “Princesses never eat sweets.” She spent the next few hours crying, because she “didn’t want to be a princess anymore." FML
Today, I went into my fridge and someone had drank all the beer. Only my 8-year-old son lives with me. FML
Today, after being fed up with my sarcastic, mouthy daughter, I decided to remove her TV from her room. I dropped it on my foot and broke two toes. She promptly said, "That's what you get." FML
Irony failure
Today, I was telling my teenage daughter about the effects from alcohol, and how she should not give in to peer pressure. While talking, I noticed that she was looking at me funny. There was a wine glass in my hand. FML
Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML
Today, I went to visit some family out of state for my niece's birthday. I couldn't think of what to get an 8-year-old so I got her a Barbie doll. Everyone else got her money, iPods, game consoles, etc. When she got to mine she asked "how do I turn it on?" Then threw it away when she couldn't. FML
Teenagers these days
Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML
Today, my 6-year-old daughter threw a tantrum in the middle of a store, all because I wouldn't buy her a pushup bra. FML
Top comments
DerrickJames 33
Children are model learners. Be a better model or keep them around better models.
wheresmymary 22
They grow up so fast
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Comments (69)
kittykat1501 31
Wow. Drink less beer?
MrsDruidess 23
not sure why this is one is being thumbs down, maybe it could be more clear. But I had the same reaction, maybe OP needs to drink less beer, obviously the kid got the saying from somewhere. . .
MsFit 17
All it takes is kids hearing something once, even from a stranger, for them to start repeating it. I got a call from my then 3 years old daughter's school and was horrified to learn that she had called her teacher a ****. I asked where she had heard it, since it's something I have made sure to never say in front of her. It turned out that she had overheard an older student she didn't know say it to someone at recess and thought it meant friend. It took awhile to reinforce that it was not something appropriate for her to say.
Jay0501 21
Maybe the little girl meant bear? You know like a teddy bear.. It would kind of make sense lol
bearin 9
Wow I need a bear, What?
kittykat1501 31
Sorry, I said the first thing that came to mind. Though it may not be accurate, that's why the question mark is at the end. I was not sure if she heard it from op
nider 19
I can only hope she doesn't know what she's saying.
majesticprincess 19
I hate our generation
ohjoy15 33
That escalated quickly. Relax mate. Nowhere close to a reason to hate us all.
natashamilan 13
What does it have to do with this specific generation? EVERY generation has kids that say stuff like this.
lexos 16
Every generation has stupid people. It just looks like the amount is growing cause of all the stuff stupid people do is posted on the Internet
SubparAtBest 23
31 is speaking the truth people did the same stupid stuff or at least equally stupid stuff in the past. people just didnt hear about becuase the internet wasn't around to let everyone know.
Wakachulak 22
Internet was around, but people didn't feel the need to post stupid in a desperate plea for attention. That's definitely new to this generation.
classicsparkles 17
3, unless you're bitching about the generation that raised the one that just asked for a beer, you aren't actually a part of it, as at 15 years older you could have parented this kid. Either way, there isn't anything really wrong with the kid making a statement like that, genius, in all likelihood, there is no way beer is actually palatable for a kid that age. They probobly picked it up watching the Simpson's or something.
ber4fun 23
Everyone keeps saying internet but what they really mean is "before social media."
kutemotoka 15
Wow, I hope she wasn't actually meaning that. If she just said it, then I hope she won't have a habit of saying that, even when she gets older ...
wheresmymary 22
They grow up so fast
StraightUpBaller 14
Being a kid is a hard life, man!
DerrickJames 33
Children are model learners. Be a better model or keep them around better models.
sadistmonkey 19
Be a better model, meaning what exactly? It is in fact possible for parents to drink in front of their kids without negatively affecting them. In fact, based on the FML alone, I only see a kid who mimicked her parent without necessarily meaning what she said (I'm sure that if someone offered her a beer, she'd spit it out immediately). The only reason that what she said is inappropriate is because of her age, and that's just a matter of teaching her that there are certain activities that only grownups can take part in.
kittykat1501 31
While you're at it, 19, might as well tell her about another aspect of adulthood * waggles eyebrows*
ribx 16
Maybe she meant Bear, as in a teddy bear...
Redgy22 26
Kids repeat what that hear. Obviously, this one has heard "I need a beer" from someone. The fact that she used it in the correct context indicates it's been heard numerous times. The idea is that parents watch their mouth around kids or suffer the consequences. OP better hope the kid doesn't say something like that in school, or child welfare services will be all over it.
Tarlachia 33
"Root beer it is! After your time-out of course!"
qdawg06 23
More like you'll be needing plenty of beers once she reaches her teenage years.
StraightUpBaller 14
*Drops Mic*
ceelos97 16
Kids like to imitate and copy what their parents do. Your kids see you as a role model, so her behavior and attitude comes from you, or her other parent or someone else she see's a role model
DoomedGemini 38
It really doesn't have to be a role model. Kids just repeat things, whether it's someone they look up to or even know or not.