Today, I took away my 8-year-old daughter's toy for throwing it too many times. She then said, "I need a beer." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 8 year-old adopted daughter told me she wants me to take her back so another family can adopt her because I don't give her enough toys. FML
Today, my two year old daughter did not want to leave the toy store, when I picked her up she started screaming at the top of her lungs, "YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY!". FML
Today, I took away my daughter’s candy bar, saying, “Princesses never eat sweets.” She spent the next few hours crying, because she “didn’t want to be a princess anymore." FML
Today, I went into my fridge and someone had drank all the beer. Only my 8-year-old son lives with me. FML
Today, after being fed up with my sarcastic, mouthy daughter, I decided to remove her TV from her room. I dropped it on my foot and broke two toes. She promptly said, "That's what you get." FML
Today, I was telling my teenage daughter about the effects from alcohol, and how she should not give in to peer pressure. While talking, I noticed that she was looking at me funny. There was a wine glass in my hand. FML
Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML
Today, I went to visit some family out of state for my niece's birthday. I couldn't think of what to get an 8-year-old so I got her a Barbie doll. Everyone else got her money, iPods, game consoles, etc. When she got to mine she asked "how do I turn it on?" Then threw it away when she couldn't. FML
Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML
Today, my 6-year-old daughter threw a tantrum in the middle of a store, all because I wouldn't buy her a pushup bra. FML
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Top comments
DerrickJames 33
Children are model learners. Be a better model or keep them around better models.
wheresmymary 22
They grow up so fast
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Comments (69)
sean18202 10
best to start them early!
mayhemily 7
Apparently when I was 4, I told my dad that I lost my "******* Barbie" after hearing my mom mutter about losing her "******* keys".
OwlsMakeBowels 17
oh my god haha i hope she isn't actually drinking behind your back and is just saying that because dad says it.
cm1995_fml 10
"Too many times"? You shouldn't have let her throw it even ONCE. YD both things happening for not disciplining her better. As other people mentioned, children are model learners, so if you want your child to respect you, then you need to raise her with ground rules so she knows what behavior is expected of her.
fantasyworld 39
Kids tend to repeat things they hear.
zoelog 10
so obviously she learned that from someone. ydi