Today, I took a train for 5 hours to a remote northern community. My belt broke as I was getting off the train. I went to the only store and bought a new belt. Taking it off to go to bed, the new belt broke. I have to go visit clients today with a shoestring holding up my pants. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while running an event, my belt loop got caught in those metal whorls that outdoor chairs have. I couldn't get it undone and had to greet guests by standing up and bringing the chair with me, hanging from my ass. My coworker finally had to cut the belt loop to set me free. FML
Today, I was working the cash register. While helping a customer with her groceries, my bra snapped. I then had to ask my male boss if I could staple it back together. Thirty minutes later it snapped again. I then had to explain to my boss that I was too broke to buy a new one. FML
Today, I was on the train to work. I was up late the night before, causing me to doze off. When I woke up, I was at my station. I stood up, went to walk out of the door and fell flat on my face on a platform full of people. Someone had tied my shoelaces together. FML
Today, at work, the seat of my pants ripped open. A coworker lent me a pair of his back-up jeans, and then those ripped in the crotch. FML
Today, I wet my pants at the grocery store. I didn't feel like I had to go until I was inside. The embarrassing thing (besides me being 37)? I actually made it to the store's public bathroom and made it to the toilet, but my belt was on so tightly that I had to undo it and it doesn't work like an ordinary belt. FML
Today, I found out how it feels to get your nut-sack caught in a belt buckle. FML
Today, my pants ripped while I was at work. I had to keep my balls to the wall while I dodged customers and edged ever closer to the break room. Before I could call my wife and ask her to bring a new pair, my boss burst in, got pissed, and made me go back out and deal with irate customers. FML
Today, my jeans got caught in the airport escalators. Seeing as how we couldn't get them unstuck, my mother made me take them off. FML
Today, I was running late for work. To save time, I grabbed my belt on my way out the door and was putting it on in the elevator, which stopped at the next floor before I had put my belt all the way on. A hot girl stepped into the elevator, looked at my undone belt, screamed "Ew" and got off. FML
Today, while biking home from work, a 12 mile trip, I was speeding down a long hill and my jean pant leg got caught in the chain. It ripped, and then the rest of my pant leg ripped off. I had to bike 10 more miles half naked along the highway. FML
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Top comments
WinterChild 20
Shoestrings as belts use to be so cool back in the day lol
Tripartita 45
"Will that be all today, sir?" "Actually, I was wondering if you could tell me how the tensile strength of this belt compares to those of other belts." "…"
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Comments (42)
ISeeNoises 5
So, you went on, what I assume is a business trip, with only one belt? Amateur mistake buddy. Self respecting businessmen DO NOT leave their house without a back up belt, 715ml of good single malt, 4 glencairn glasses, a shoe shine boy (or girl, I mean we're all progressive enough to assume that a good shoe shine could come from a girl) seven freshly pressed suits spanning a conservative colour palette, two combs, a straight razor, shaving soap and brush, leather condoms and a cordonnier for good measure. Think next time before you go on some pretentious business trip wherein a train is traveled upon instead of a plane.
WittyReference 8
Did you have to wear the shoelace? Like are your pants so big they won't stay up at all with out some kind of belt??
Urpoppy 21
I've never had a belt break in my life. Maybe you need to spend a little more for a better belt or get one that fits right.
Kendrah18 19
There are worse things that could have happened. Get over it.
vikky538 29
I once used a tie as a belt.. Its better than shoe lace
sillygirl247 14
Maybe get pants that fit? Ya manky weirdo.
skylea5 6
Guess you need a bigger belt.
Oh_No_Not_Him 25
The moral of the story? Buy trousers (pants) that fit.
fictionaldiary 11
Clearly it wasn't that important to look nice if you couldn't even be bothered to wear pants that actually fit.