Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML
Today, I was having some rare good sex with my husband, when he suddenly said, "I'm fuckin' BORED," and pulled out so he could go play his video games. FML
Today, I was so sexually frustrated that I tried getting off with a banana. It was not enjoyable, for me or the banana. FML
Today, after confronting my husband about lack of intimacy in our marriage, I found him playing with himself. His response to my shock was, "This is less work and less involving." FML
Today, my husband decided he'd rather jerk off to the Wii Fit trainer than have sex with me. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, I told my husband I was horny and wanted to get it on. He agreed but first he had to finish the chapter he was reading, watch his show on Netflix, argue with strangers on Facebook, then do his workout. He had the nerve to cop an attitude when I was no longer in the mood. FML
Today, I was feeling frisky and my boyfriend was playing a video game in the living room. I started dancing in front of the T.V. with only my panties on, to which he responded, "You're every gamer's nightmare." FML
Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML
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Top comments
stretchedthin 20
haha sorry but that is funny and sad though, sorry op. Maybe you should do the same thing to him when he asks for some give him some lotion.
eternal_malaise 10
Tell him you're thinking about finding a new joystick since his doesn't seem to be working anymore.
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Comments (196)
how_to_implode 17
That's just a rude way to decline. Geez. :P
mannatee 19
"Husbandly duties"? Really? You think it's his job to have sex whenever she wants him to?
Rababco 29
What, a man that's not always in the mood for sex?! Society lied to me! Seriously though, he's in the middle of a video game OP, try again later. How about you two play video games now and then have sex later ok?
buttcramp 21
next time HE is frisky, give him some fruit to ****!
krista17 11
Cosmopolitan Magazine's YouTube channel had a suggestion about coring a pineapple and heating it up. I wish I was making that up.
cryssycakesx3 23
pineapples are brutal, what with the spikes and leaving sores in your mouth. I can't imagine a man doing that to his rod on purpose. maybe a cantaloupe or something.
Moobacca 2
Just like I'm sure you take care of your "wifely duties" and drop everything you're doing at the drop of a hat whenever he wants it right?
imbedderdenu 23
wow! skedouche! Id be out. That's pathetic.
cchuckcloninger 5
Go get a vibrator (if you don't already have one) and next time he's feeling "frisky" reach in the bedside table drawer, hold it up buzzing and tell him you took his advice and he's now been replaced.
Robert1989 9
hahhaa next time your husband want to bust a nut throw him a Orange and tell him to work it out
RedPillSucks 33
An orange? A bagel, perhaps.
GamerPerson 19
FYL, OP. :( Yeah, next time when HE feels frisky, smile at him, say in your sexy voice, "In a moment, lover boy...", walk out the room, go to the kitchen and come back with some pineapple slices and tell HIM to work it out, and then go to sleep.
cryssycakesx3 23
like others have said, why is it a big deal he's not in the mood? lol if he's playing a game maybe she should've made him a sandwich instead of worrying about sex...
RedPillSucks 33
Well, next time instead of asking him what he's going to do about it, be more direct.