Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML
Today, I was having some rare good sex with my husband, when he suddenly said, "I'm fuckin' BORED," and pulled out so he could go play his video games. FML
Today, I was so sexually frustrated that I tried getting off with a banana. It was not enjoyable, for me or the banana. FML
Today, after confronting my husband about lack of intimacy in our marriage, I found him playing with himself. His response to my shock was, "This is less work and less involving." FML
Today, my husband decided he'd rather jerk off to the Wii Fit trainer than have sex with me. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, I told my husband I was horny and wanted to get it on. He agreed but first he had to finish the chapter he was reading, watch his show on Netflix, argue with strangers on Facebook, then do his workout. He had the nerve to cop an attitude when I was no longer in the mood. FML
Today, I was feeling frisky and my boyfriend was playing a video game in the living room. I started dancing in front of the T.V. with only my panties on, to which he responded, "You're every gamer's nightmare." FML
Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML
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Top comments
stretchedthin 20
haha sorry but that is funny and sad though, sorry op. Maybe you should do the same thing to him when he asks for some give him some lotion.
eternal_malaise 10
Tell him you're thinking about finding a new joystick since his doesn't seem to be working anymore.
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Comments (196)
chutney_02 22
Love works in funny ways
_kyleG_ 34
Men can't be in the mood all the time guys...
phatdaddy62 23
That is true. We are not just "**** machines." Well, when we are 18 we might be . . :
MiataHarley07 6
Apparently my 35yr old boyfriend didnt get that memo. Hahaha. If he's not too sick to move, he's in the mood. Video games never take precedence over sex here.
Welshite 40
#12: "Fulfill his husbandry duties"?! What is he, a stud on demand? That isn't what a marriage is about.
FML64128 7
I understand being upset, but she would have no right to break his stuff. Not to mention how childish that is.
DaMann360 19
If I were him, my pants would've dropped faster than a Snorlax falling off of a cliff
KissMyAnthia200 12
Damn.What a reference.
Welshite 40
Husbandly* Autocorrect seems to think husbands should be herders.
kurodansei 16
Sounds like your husband thinks you lack a peel.
GuiLD15 7
#21 oh come on
uarudeassbitchyo 17
Frisky reminds me of catfood just say horny lol
cryssycakesx3 23
for me at least, frisky and horny aren't the same. just because you have an association to the word doesn't mean other people shouldn't. maybe horny reminds her of a rhinoceros.
Enslaved 38
There's a joke that says your "stripper" name is your first pet's name (because of that said cat food, lol) and the street you lived on. Mine is-- "Frisky Nightingale"
DntLookBack 29
Somehow "El Gato Schoolhouse" lacks appeal lol
smokecloud_ 37
Big Guy Church. Hm. Maybe I should just go with my first cat. Misty Church is less.. awkward.
cryssycakesx3 23
Fiona Grandview. win.
crazytwinsmom 25
Zorro Pearce, not happening.
snugglesMcGee199 23
Balto Budlong? It's appropriate for a man, which I am not. lol
lightburns 10
Woody Judge.
Godsofdracos 15
Fluffy Ranch o.O.... Not so sure I like this game anymore :c
alshygirl 14
Vader Ellis....not feelin it lol
showmeyourears 19
Lucky Front :P That... could work I guess..
Daonna 9
Mama Mooch Geneva... That sounds hot....right?
speakersboom 19
Silent Bob Portifino... well, ****.
katt_is_here 24
Pinky Raton. Not bad!
PurelyCanadian 18
What a fruit! No? Sorry. God damn it.
worldclassrager 41
You should be first priority not his game I mean just pause it (unless it's online) and satisfy you...that simple...
MortenM 17
Agree. It's a 10 second thing anyways
cryssycakesx3 23
nah. he shouldn't have to drop everything because she wants sex. I'm half certain he's allowed to have his own hobbies. unless she's a dictator...
cryssycakesx3 23
ahh, maybe she could even be a tyrant.
GuiLD15 7
no, what the heck? hes not a slave