Today, I told my boyfriend about how a few years ago I had cancer, and how I underwent radiation therapy. His response? "Did you glow in the dark?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took my friend with me for a radiology scan. While I was getting injections, my friend muttered, "On the bright side, if you die, you'll glow in the dark at the funeral." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were snuggling on bed watching TV. He gets up at one point and turns the light off, so I asked him why. He replied, "You look better in the dark." FML
Today, at the restaurant I work at, I gave a man back his change and told him to enjoy the sunny day. He replied by dramatically saying that the sun was his mortal enemy. Thinking he was joking, I asked him if he was a vampire. Turns out he has skin cancer. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that I look better in different kinds of light. I asked him which kind of light I looked best in. His reply? "No light at all." FML
Today, a customer that I've been waiting on for years came into the restaurant after a long absence. I said to him, "Hey man, it looks like you lost a lot of weight! How'd you do it?" He replied, "I got cancer." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend about how I was a test tube baby. He looked at me with confusion before asking, "But if scientists made you, surely you'd be really attractive and talented and stuff?" FML
Today, I reached out to an old friend to ask how his battle with cancer is going. He responded by asking for boob pics. FML
Today, I was turned down from the dream job that I was promised two years ago, once my chemo and radiation therapy was finished. His excuse? He never actually expected me to survive. FML
Today, it's hot and sunny, and a customer asked me how I was, I responded by saying "It's a hot sunny day. Who doesn't love the sun?" He responded by telling me he had just had three melanomas cut out. I guess I did find someone who doesn't like the sun. FML
Today, I'm so pale, my boss asked me whether I light up in the dark. FML
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Top comments
OfficeNinja 5
I apologize, on behalf of all men who are not idiots.
Adollable 0
Well, did you? Just kidding, don't worry, he was probably trying to make light of the situation.
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Comments (145)
DanniMal87 3
and he is supposed to baby you and making cooing noises? obviously you are desparate for attention
DocBastard 40
You aren't very bright, are you? It was just a little light joking around. I'm sure he finds you blindingly radiant despite your past troubles. I have a glimmer of hope that when you reflect on this later, you'll realise your glaring error and that he had a twinkling glint in his eye the whole time. Brilliant!
G97Alex 21
"Vegeta, what does the scouter say about the number of puns in Doc's comment? "IT'S OVER 9000"
coltsrock37 15
Fyi Vegeta is my boy. And everyone knows dbz.
benderbot19 0
Wow, doc. What happened? You got so punny! You almost sounded like you were smiling instead of sneering in that comment :)
LordWicker 1
How does he breathe on his own?
perdix 31
Tell him, "No, but when I ovulate, caviar flows out of my ******."
pokemai 6
Does he smoke a lot of pot? :b
benderbot19 0
Valid question.
zaleh 23
This is why I stopped watching reality shows
Omniminokyo 0
So, what is the answer? Do you glow or not?
stevenmx86 8
What did you want him to say? "Woah, dude. That's gnarly" I mean, date a moron and you get a moron..
dhsunj 0
r u a gf of an idiot?
benderbot19 0
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