Today, I told my boss I have a sore throat. He replied, "Well, don't take it so deep next time." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, after telling my boss about my hearing problem, she simply told me to "listen harder". FML
Asshat
Today, I woke up with a sore throat and a stuffy nose. As my boss is an asshat who hates allowing sick leave, I thought I could power through it, but halfway through my workday I sneezed so hard that I threw my back out. I had to go home early and now I can't move without pain. FML
Earache
Today, I asked my boss for a couple of days off to recover from a nasty ear infection which has left me hard of hearing. However, he didn't understand why that would affect my job and refused. I work in a telephone call centre. FML
Seize the day
Today, I dragged myself to work, suffering from a bad cold. My boss quietly told me to go home and rest, to avoid spreading it around the office. I thought it odd since he dislikes me so much, but I did as he said. He called later in the day to suspend me for leaving work early. FML
Gummy
Today, I had a toothache and applied some numbing gel to soothe the pain. Too much came out and made my whole mouth numb. A man came into my work, thought I was making fun of his lisp, and stormed out really upset. He later called to complain about me. The boss just called me to his office. FML
The Voice
Today, I sent a voice memo of me singing off-key to my boss instead of the actual work-related attachment. My boss replied, "Don't get your hopes up, so stick to your day job." FML
Grind mindset
Today, my boss wrote me up for taking too many bathroom breaks. I tried calling in sick with a bad case of indigestion, but he told me to just power through it because, "it can't possibly be that bad." I have been in severe, persistent discomfort the whole damn day. FML
Seize the means of production
Today, I’m at home, sick with a really bad sinus and ear infection. If I'd gone to the clinic earlier, then it wouldn’t have spread to my ears, but my boss wouldn’t let me take a day off. FML
Today, my boss berated me in front of 2 other coworkers about how unprofessional it was for me to show up to work with a clearly visible hickey. I had to explain to him that my "hickey" was actually a huge pimple that had bruised up after I popped it. FML
Polite but wrong
Today, my boss walked in and said something I didn't quite hear, but my co-worker chuckled so to be polite, I laughed with him. They gave me some weird looks. My boss was actually talking about his wife's tumor and my co-worker was coughing. FML
Top comments
Hiimhaileypotter 53
The other day, a girl in my Spanish course asked the professor if, instead of tests, we could just do oral from now on to get better grades. She meant oral presentations like skits, but obviously it didn't come out that way. Talk about hilarious...I'm pretty immature so if my boss said something like this to me I'd laugh. :)
hunteredmundson 17
Well then don't
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Comments (116)
sthrnbell 9
Totally inappropriate. U should report him to human resources for sexual harassment.
CaptPatchy 2
the only people calling it sexual harassment here are the fat women. feminism has gone too far.
LuvNKisses4Eva 8
Well that's inappropriate. While u get that it's a joke and it is funny, you just don't say that kind of stuff in the work place. That's how you get sued
middlenamefrank 8
If you were a woman, OP, I'd be pretty horrified to hear that your boss said something like that to you. But since you're a man, honestly, it sounds like pretty good locker room humor to me. Zing him back. Tell him you appreciate him giving you the benefit of his much greater experience.
stife7 13
Ur boss seems like fun
HowsBoutaRoadie 8
you have a funny boss
natassjad 22
That is sexual harassment and he could get into a lot trouble
Bellock86 2
sexual harassmemt much?!
jeriaslovesyou 16
LOL. Boss 1 - You 0
_fmlmf_ 1
If he keeps saying stuff like that, you should sue him for sexual harassment.