Today, I told my boss I have a sore throat. He replied, "Well, don't take it so deep next time." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, after telling my boss about my hearing problem, she simply told me to "listen harder". FML
Asshat
Today, I woke up with a sore throat and a stuffy nose. As my boss is an asshat who hates allowing sick leave, I thought I could power through it, but halfway through my workday I sneezed so hard that I threw my back out. I had to go home early and now I can't move without pain. FML
Earache
Today, I asked my boss for a couple of days off to recover from a nasty ear infection which has left me hard of hearing. However, he didn't understand why that would affect my job and refused. I work in a telephone call centre. FML
Seize the day
Today, I dragged myself to work, suffering from a bad cold. My boss quietly told me to go home and rest, to avoid spreading it around the office. I thought it odd since he dislikes me so much, but I did as he said. He called later in the day to suspend me for leaving work early. FML
Gummy
Today, I had a toothache and applied some numbing gel to soothe the pain. Too much came out and made my whole mouth numb. A man came into my work, thought I was making fun of his lisp, and stormed out really upset. He later called to complain about me. The boss just called me to his office. FML
The Voice
Today, I sent a voice memo of me singing off-key to my boss instead of the actual work-related attachment. My boss replied, "Don't get your hopes up, so stick to your day job." FML
Grind mindset
Today, my boss wrote me up for taking too many bathroom breaks. I tried calling in sick with a bad case of indigestion, but he told me to just power through it because, "it can't possibly be that bad." I have been in severe, persistent discomfort the whole damn day. FML
Seize the means of production
Today, I’m at home, sick with a really bad sinus and ear infection. If I'd gone to the clinic earlier, then it wouldn’t have spread to my ears, but my boss wouldn’t let me take a day off. FML
Today, my boss berated me in front of 2 other coworkers about how unprofessional it was for me to show up to work with a clearly visible hickey. I had to explain to him that my "hickey" was actually a huge pimple that had bruised up after I popped it. FML
Polite but wrong
Today, my boss walked in and said something I didn't quite hear, but my co-worker chuckled so to be polite, I laughed with him. They gave me some weird looks. My boss was actually talking about his wife's tumor and my co-worker was coughing. FML
Top comments
Hiimhaileypotter 53
The other day, a girl in my Spanish course asked the professor if, instead of tests, we could just do oral from now on to get better grades. She meant oral presentations like skits, but obviously it didn't come out that way. Talk about hilarious...I'm pretty immature so if my boss said something like this to me I'd laugh. :)
hunteredmundson 17
Well then don't
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Comments (116)
lummiiss 3
He was probably joking if he want say an insult back
FabiusSpeck 3
I forgot my password but I had to comment so much that I changed it then logged in. You people are ridicolous. You talk about professionalism and correct behaviour at work, an still I bet 80% of you have low income jobs and keep their head down most of the life. People who work hard (and not ******* around at wal-mart or mcdonalds like you do, boo ******* whoo you really work hard dude) don't care about this petty things because thats WASTING TIME when you have something else to do. You people are literally what's wrong in this world. Grow a ******* spine. I'd like to see you losers live in the 17th century or something. edit: I know a lot of people will go grammar-nazi on my ass, but I'm no native speaker so I'm doing the best I can.
Algorithm 24
Someone I love very much used to work at mcdonalds, and it was some of the most thankless hard work I know of. They don't pay workers there enough to support themselves, let alone deal with people like you who think the sun shines out of their ass. Get off your high horse.
cdncw 20
Around my workplace (office environment), this is the norm. Always keeps the place friendly when nobody is afraid to fire off a wise-ass comeback to every day situations! :)
Zalacoza 16
Title IX! Title IX!
sisoladra 20
Does your boss also happen to be your pimp?