Today, I told my boss I have a sore throat. He replied, "Well, don't take it so deep next time." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, after telling my boss about my hearing problem, she simply told me to "listen harder". FML
Asshat
Today, I woke up with a sore throat and a stuffy nose. As my boss is an asshat who hates allowing sick leave, I thought I could power through it, but halfway through my workday I sneezed so hard that I threw my back out. I had to go home early and now I can't move without pain. FML
Earache
Today, I asked my boss for a couple of days off to recover from a nasty ear infection which has left me hard of hearing. However, he didn't understand why that would affect my job and refused. I work in a telephone call centre. FML
Seize the day
Today, I dragged myself to work, suffering from a bad cold. My boss quietly told me to go home and rest, to avoid spreading it around the office. I thought it odd since he dislikes me so much, but I did as he said. He called later in the day to suspend me for leaving work early. FML
Gummy
Today, I had a toothache and applied some numbing gel to soothe the pain. Too much came out and made my whole mouth numb. A man came into my work, thought I was making fun of his lisp, and stormed out really upset. He later called to complain about me. The boss just called me to his office. FML
The Voice
Today, I sent a voice memo of me singing off-key to my boss instead of the actual work-related attachment. My boss replied, "Don't get your hopes up, so stick to your day job." FML
Grind mindset
Today, my boss wrote me up for taking too many bathroom breaks. I tried calling in sick with a bad case of indigestion, but he told me to just power through it because, "it can't possibly be that bad." I have been in severe, persistent discomfort the whole damn day. FML
Seize the means of production
Today, I’m at home, sick with a really bad sinus and ear infection. If I'd gone to the clinic earlier, then it wouldn’t have spread to my ears, but my boss wouldn’t let me take a day off. FML
Today, my boss berated me in front of 2 other coworkers about how unprofessional it was for me to show up to work with a clearly visible hickey. I had to explain to him that my "hickey" was actually a huge pimple that had bruised up after I popped it. FML
Polite but wrong
Today, my boss walked in and said something I didn't quite hear, but my co-worker chuckled so to be polite, I laughed with him. They gave me some weird looks. My boss was actually talking about his wife's tumor and my co-worker was coughing. FML
Top comments
Hiimhaileypotter 53
The other day, a girl in my Spanish course asked the professor if, instead of tests, we could just do oral from now on to get better grades. She meant oral presentations like skits, but obviously it didn't come out that way. Talk about hilarious...I'm pretty immature so if my boss said something like this to me I'd laugh. :)
hunteredmundson 17
Well then don't
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Comments (116)
hunteredmundson 17
Well then don't
ComoEsJuan 24
No need to be a dick about it, mate.
FluffyPandas156 13
No need to take it like a Dick
DomiLove 26
Geeze OP, it's a joke not a dick don't take it so hard.
teentee401 37
Twas a joke, number 4.
jenninator93 18
Hey, sometimes its just unavoidable ya know?
Nicholas12 15
so was his 40
MrMoofinMan 19
Sexual harassment..
sarah5745 41
In what way....
BlameTheOwls 14
unwanted sexual comments
WoldowJR 25
Not really "harassment." I see it more as a witty yet uncalled for retort.
Vegetarian27 24
Definitely. That's super creepy. I'd quit on the spot and file a complaint with HR.
milky2321 14
you people are what is wrong with this country. it was a joke, get a sense of humor.
Morning_fml 22
Exactly, #73. Even if it was a little uncalled for I'd be glad to have a boss with a sense of humour. It'd make my overall workplace less stressful and a little more fun to be in.
shessohighh 10
It doesn't matter if it was a joke or not. Get a job at a big company in corporate America and you'll learn really fast that things like that don't fly at all.
rdenkewicz 11
Panda!!!
Flowtastic 16
66 - that's because you don't eat meat.
gruvychild 17
Indeed it is sexual harassment!
DeathBunny8 9
Reporting this as sexual harassment wouldn't be enough to get him replaced. So, all you would be achieving was pissing off your boss. It'd be easier if you just learned to take a joke.
QueenOfSuppness 25
Its only Sexual Harassment if you take it in that way
Hiimhaileypotter 53
The other day, a girl in my Spanish course asked the professor if, instead of tests, we could just do oral from now on to get better grades. She meant oral presentations like skits, but obviously it didn't come out that way. Talk about hilarious...I'm pretty immature so if my boss said something like this to me I'd laugh. :)
kitten1800 18
The other day my teacher was trying to get a printer to take some paper and was shoving it in and she said, "If you shove it in deep enough it has to swallow, right?" It took every bit of my maturity not to giggle :p When I read OPs FML, I had none of that maturity and promptly bursted out laughing
bandit223 6
You should file a sexual harassment complaint against him, even if it was just a joke
SandiRainbowFish 20
You people need to calm the **** down. It was clearly a joke.
j11a01 16
People like you are reasons the world is such a boring place. Always having to watch what you say. If my boss says that, I'd respond that I thought i could go deeper and laugh about it. Not be lil bitch and cry.
CaptPatchy 2
"even if it was just a joke"
fuckercakes 21
Report his ass, damn that's creepy.
cherry_popper69 11
I have a good relationship with my boss so I'd find that funny, even if you didn't have a good relationship it's good that your boss is funny and not an asshole
Saicere 15
There are some jokes you don't make to your subordinates in a professional environment. Report him.
CoGhostRider 31
Grow up, at least his boss is laid back and not uptight.
Saicere 15
Really? You do realise that (under the policy of most companies) this could very easily be sexual harassment, right? OP's boss sounds like a creep, and unless the context somehow makes it a two-way dialogue I think he should definitely be reported. If you think this is funny and appropriate for the workplace, maybe it is you who should grow up.
15Erik 21
All I ask is, were you there?
sweetnsourrr 11
You take things way too seriously.... I bet you're fun a parties.
Saicere 15
#19, no, but that doesn't change the fact that this wasn't a joke between friends. This was a comment from superior to a subordinate in a professional setting. #20, it's not a case of taking things seriously, it's a case of knowing the appropriate time and place for certain actions.
TheMathMajor 26
I agree with you. If my boss said something like that to me I would be very uncomfortable and I wouldn't want to talk to him very much after that. I'm a woman in my twenties and imagining this happening with a middle aged man. In that kind of situation it can be pretty creepy and degrading and completely inappropriate
kitten1800 18
Saicere, for all we know OP and the boss could be friends or could be comfortable enough to make jokes like that. We don't really know the whole story. Just chill
Kielnmsoftly 26
Notice my 1 positive internet point I gave you Senpai!?
Llama_Face89 34
I find it a little disheartening that it's mostly women arguing if this is cool or not.. It's kinda cut and dry. If OP is complaining about it here she clearly wasn't comfortable with it.
CoGhostRider 31
Where I work yes but I couldn't expect you to understand that, and yes I am very immature.
CoGhostRider 31
Also I agree it would be sexual harassment of it were a male boss and a female employee.
Cadillac_kid_15 27
OP is a guy in case you didn't know.
CoGhostRider 31
Tell him it's his wife's fault for not keeping her ****** clean.
Attacksloth 33
Don't let this slide, even if it didn't bug you. People who say that out of the blue likely have very blurry boundaries, and I wouldn't put it past him to try something ballsier next time.
Mkm1997 20
Maybe, however it is definitely possible that op's boss was trying to be funny. If this was a conversation then it's not as bad (still inappropriate) but not report worthy. If it was a conversation and op was friendly with her boss it can be considered a joke
sionis 3
What messed up reality do you live in where your assumption is accurate?
sabbyheartswhat 23
You read that OP is a guy right?
Joshery 14
Doesn't matter, still had sex
MyDadLeftMeInKFC 21
Sexual harassment much?