Today, I threw up in the car. While driving. The good news though, I had a bag to catch it all. Bad news? The bag had a giant hole in the bottom. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was massively hungover and driving home. I had a strong suspicion that I was gonna ralph so I was smart and pulled over. I emptied the contents of my stomach into a shopping bag and was proud I didn't make a mess all over the car. Seconds later, the bottom of the bag gave out. FML
Today, my morning sickness got so bad that, while at the grocery store, I had to throw up in my purse. FML
Today, whilst driving, I had the sudden urge to vomit. As I pulled over I wound my window down, stuck my head out, and emptied my stomach. At least I would have if I had wound down the driver's window instead of the back window. FML
Today, after a night of vomiting and diarrhea, my family forced me to our beach house for the night. I packed my bag and my mum said she put my bag in the car. We get there where we realize she forgot to put my bag in the car. Not a big deal I thought. Five minutes later I shat and vomited myself. FML
Today, I had to catch a bus to work, as my car had to be taken in yesterday. The bad drivers always upset my stomach with their instant stop/start driving style. I felt a burp coming on, but it turned out to be projectile vomit that filled my mask right up and poured down my shirt and pants. FML
Today, I was driving my car when I suddenly got diarrhea and shat my pants. I put a plastic bag under me to not let all the shit go through my pants and get to my seat. Then one of my workmates saw my car and came to say hello. She saw all the shit and the plastic bag. FML
Today, I was taking a taxi home after drinking too much. I started to feel sick and, not wanting to be charged the cab cleaning fee, threw up into my handbag instead. When we got to my place I then had to fish through my bag for my wallet to pay the driver. FML
Today, I got my car cleaned. As I drove home, the passenger of the van in front of me vomited out the window. The vomit sailed back and splattered all over the front of my car. A waste of £10 and a mental image that will never go away. FML
Today, my two year-old puked in the backseat of the car. When we stopped to clean her up, she scooped up the vomit by the handful and threw it at my head. I had an almost two-hour drive before I could wash the smell off myself. FML
Today, while rushing to a big marketing presentation, I started feeling ill in my car. I was stuck in traffic, and before I could get my window open I threw up all over my suit. All I had were some tissues to try to clean the mess before presenting to a full boardroom. FML
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Top comments
abalgatti 0
so you had time to reach for a bag, open it, puke in it, and stay out of a car accident? great party trick
Acousticpixie14 6
Ouch, some moron managed to type out a "**** u." Oh dear, my feelings are so hurt. Oh no, what ever shall I do?
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Comments (68)
RadiationNeon 5
lol
MrBrick 0
That's a HOLE lot of nasty. You can say you got a HOLE in one.
NeatNit 33
This is like the 4th FML this month about puking in a car into a bag with a hole. What the heck?
I_R_Genius 3
#27, I wonder if OP is from Ohio. A lot of FML's have been coming from Ohio lately.
redbluegreen 41
Can you blame them? I mean, it is Ohio. It's almost as bad as Oklahoma.
aclemsonfan01 0
its pretty impressive that you didnt wreck in the process!
heb3003 0
at least no car accident....?
Acousticpixie14 6
That's just luck. OP should have pulled over! If she knew enough ahead of time to aim it into a bag, she should have pulled over. I went through six months of morning sickness and never once had to puke while I was driving to work. I always pulled over. OP endangered lives by doing this. That hole in the bag, OP? Yeah that hole has a name. It's called KARMA.
frankq555 3
**** u
Acousticpixie14 6
Ouch, some moron managed to type out a "**** u." Oh dear, my feelings are so hurt. Oh no, what ever shall I do?
BisFitty 7
HOLEY PUKE BATMAN!
supervacaneous 4
Jiminy-jillikers Radioactive Man!
outsidebox 0
haha wow that really sucks. I bet you'll start checking if bags in your car have holes in them after this.
abalgatti 0
so you had time to reach for a bag, open it, puke in it, and stay out of a car accident? great party trick
FNFPhilly 0
^win
Ioannes 0
You didn't feel like pulling over or sticking your funky-ass head out the window? In my country you would've been severely beaten with a stick if you threw up in a car, no matter if you own it or not. You put other drivers @ risk also...
ericownz101 0
you, my good sir, are trying way too hard to be funny with these "in my country..... beaten with a stick" comments.
PeteyPablo12308 20
Is EVERYTHING punished by being beaten with a stick? I've seen this comment a few times now... Lol
QueenPersephone 9
Maybe we could mix things up a bit... Sew op's mouth shut instead?
Ioannes 0
Being beaten with a stick is true... When you come from a farming country one tool almost everyone carries around is a stick, if you get into a fight or are being punished what's the first thing you'd use? The stick you have in your hand... Make sense now right?
MuchDance90s 0
what about rocks or small, malnourished children? they could be thrown or otherwise used as weapons
gintori 0
#25 WTF?
redbluegreen 41
There are actually several countries that cane their citizens for breaking the law. All the same, these jokes are just getting weird.
supervacaneous 4
Haha #33 made me think of "Hey...there's no cane from Citizen Kane..."
skulluks 0
The most valuable thing in your country is a stick.
WOW_BS 0
Haha she threw up because she swallowed too much...nevermind
PeteyPablo12308 20
Oh yum!!! :-)
LoneStarTexan 6
win^
abalgatti 0
loannes, is every problem in your country solved with a stick?
Ioannes 0
Almost, sometimes we can use a hammer or a few bricks but regular sticks are easier to get... You know what I mean?
MrBond007_fml 6
the cause of your car sickness was obviously your driving, and we all know woman can't drive for shit, so it's ok op it's not your fault.
QueenPersephone 9
The sickness was most likely due to corny old sexist jokes overload.
MrBond007_fml 6
I bit my tongue, I was asking for that one, but it is a little true...
iluvmemicookies 0
Go 19! Seriously, I'm tired of sexist jokes. Who expects them to be funny?