Today, I thought I would surprise my dad by mowing our entire two acre lawn. When he got home, instead of being grateful like I had hoped, he yelled at me for cutting in vertical lines instead of horizontal. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, wanting to do something nice for my dad, I mowed the lawn. He grounded me for "emasculating" him. FML
Today, I got home late to find my dad outside mowing the lawn in the dark. I told him the neighbors were going to think he lost his marbles for mowing it at that time. He then informed me he wasn't mowing it, he was vacuuming it. FML
Today, my father bought a riding lawn mower. We don't have a lawn. FML
Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my dad to pay me as he promised, after I cut the lawn and cleaned all the house windows last week. His response was, "Get fucked." FML
Today, I mowed our lawn without being asked. My sister wouldn't stop yelling at me for not checking with her, because she wanted the grass to get long enough to "play jungle" in. My mom sided with her. FML
Today, my husband thought it would be funny to mow a penis into our lawn. I guess he forgot my parents are coming over. FML
Today, I tried fixing my dad's lawnmower after he said, "Girls can't change a lightbulb right, let alone fix a machine." An hour later, when I had the lawnmower running again, he bitched me out for trying to make him "look stupid." He's been sulking and acting pissy ever since. FML
Today, I borrowed my dad's car to run a quick errand, which he never lets me do. I thought I’d got away with it until he got home and started yelling. I forgot, dad always reverses into driveways, while I prefer to drive straight in, and I'd parked his car facing the wrong way. FML
Today, my dad yelled at me for being irresponsible while he watched me fold his laundry. FML
Today, I found out my dad gets my younger brother a Big Gulp from 7/11 every time he mows the yard. I mowed for three years straight and never got anything. FML
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Top comments
lifeislife_fml 0
Do it in spirals next time!
tarheel22893 0
For being ungrateful, you should punish him by mowing a giant penis into the yard,,, or if you want to be really mean,, you could make that original penis, label it "average", and then mow in a comparably small one and label it "Dad/his actual name" (by labeling, I mean you mow the words average and dad/his actual name below the respective penises) and then take a picture of both from the roof of your house and send them to all his know acquaintances (from an anonymous email address) and then mow the areas around them to hide your handiword
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Comments (164)
birds_fml 7
The solution is to just never mow the lawn again, even if he asks you to, just say he didn't like how you did it last time so you better not do it again.
kukopia 0
That worked for me w/ my ex. She screamed at me for quiting before the job was done as I drank a coke - I was taking a small break between mowing and trimming (it was a really hot day). I said, "Fine, you do it from now on."
Luckster 0
Dude! WTF? Is he Obsessive Compulsive or something?
cthulhu1138 1
Lots of people are picky about their lawns.
DutchGunner21 0
Lol what a dick.
Soup_fml 0
Sounds about like my dad. My FML was rejected though a while back, which is odd since they're practically the same story. Mine was about my dad screaming at me that I was insane because I wasted 3 spaghetti noodles while making dinner for my family. Yeah, aren't fathers great?
Laci_Laine 0
Ha ha I guess u should know how your dad likes the lawn if he is that picky about it. FYL for having such an ungrateful dad tho. He should have thanked u and asked nicely for u to do the lines different next time
ToonKid 0
you can't cut a lawn in vertical lines... vertical means up and down
Luckster 0
Dude...yer not serious are you? You CAN cut vertical. I doesn't mean up to the sky and down to the ground. It means up and down, as in, that's how the line looks. Horizontal is left to right.
star_ver 0
Fail. Please don't procreate. (@toonkid)
ASpocksky 0
What a prick. Just take his car and go do dougnuts in it and see if he likes that look better.
Synchestra_fml 2
YDI for not being psychic >.> Seriously, does your dad have OCD or something? If you did it right he should STFU.
midwestjerk 0
Slit his throat.
Glam_fml 0
Next time cut it in the shape of a large penis. That will teach the ungrateful ass.