Today, I thought I heard someone shifting around in my house. I froze in fear and then I heard it again. I thought I was hearing things until I realized that it wasn't an intruder in my home. The shifting noise was my thighs rubbing together when I walked. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking up some stairs and heard a noise as if someone was following me. The faster I went, the louder the noise got. I was too scared to realize that it was just my thighs causing my jeans to chafe. FML
Today, while jogging, I heard an odd clapping sound over the sound of my iPod. I stopped running, and the sound stopped. This continued for an hour before I realized the slapping sound was my thighs slapping together violently. FML
Today, I woke up to shuffling noises coming from downstairs. Suspecting the worst, I jumped out of bed, and whispered over my shoulder for my girlfriend to stay quiet. Only after going downstairs and taking a swing in the dark with my bat did I figure out it was just my girlfriend foraging for snacks. FML
Today, I was chatting with my boyfriend and his mates barefoot on the grass. I suddenly felt something flick across my feet, so I let out a startled scream. Turns out it was my toe hairs rustling in the breeze. FML
Today, I kept hearing big *THUD* sounds across the house. The first few times, I didn't think anything of it. But after several more times, I started to suspect there was an intruder. After sneaking through the house, ready to knock out whomever was there, I found out it was my cat pushing things off the table. FML
Today, walking in the woods, I heard someone screaming like crazy. First I thought it might be a hurt animal, but then I heard syllables in the screams. When I yelled, “What’s going on there?!” there was only silence. It was so creepy, I’m too scared to walk my dogs there now. FML
Today, I finally felt motivated to do some exercise. As I got my weights out, I noticed out of the corner of my eye someone moving about outside my window. I got scared and dropped a weight on my foot. The person outside was my own reflection. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of footsteps outside my room. I investigated but found nothing. As I went back to my room, I heard a sort of giggling from inside. I was so scared, I grabbed my car keys, got the fuck out of there, and drove to my girlfriend's house in my pajamas. FML
Today, the neighbors heard a blood curdling scream and called the cops, thinking I was being murdered. Nope. I just stubbed my toe. FML
Today, I was woken at 4 a.m. by the sounds of someone crashing down the stairs. I scrambled out, still half-asleep, to find out that nobody was in an agonized heap at the bottom. The walls are so thin in my house that I could hear the neighbour falling down HIS stairs. FML
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Top comments
CateXOX 0
Before anyone else jumps to conclusions about OP's weight, I would like to point out that just because her thighs rub together does not mean she's fat.
Darcon 8
looool! Thunder thighs!
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Comments (223)
emily_tate 0
I'm sorry that happened to you...
TheRainKing 0
No you're not, don't lie to the poor fat girl.
versace_chick 0
Your comment : lol thats funny. can u make yah booty clap too??
mrwavedrager96 0
you should check that out...
Nitial 6
P90X really does work and it doesn't get as repetitive as Power 90 did (did that then P90X), though I couldn't do anymore after day 60 of P90X I just got lazy.
aasltmp 0
did u smell smoke?
Jimster1712 0
win!!!
TheRainKing 0
Thunder, thunder, THUNDER THIGHS! HOE!
Linux_fml 0
if you are trying the slang word for **** may I suggest spelling it correctly? it's 'ho' a hoe is a gardening utensil for breaking up dirt. ya dig?
ilovecheeer 0
EW.
chammi 0
That's disgusting. (Fat, cellulite thighs).. please exercise or go on a diet so you don't walk around scaring others as well.
justanotherbird 19
Any women can have cellulite, even thin ones. When I was at 19.4% body fat (anything above 31% is considered overweight, 25-31% is average, anything below that is considered "fit or althetic") I had some cellulite on my thighs. Understanding the body FAIL.
ProhibitionRose 14
58- way to be a shallow bitch. are you aware that most of the population is overweight? and I bet you as a person are disgusting. do us all a favor and don't reproduce so your ignorance isn't passed on to your children. or die in a fire. whichever you find more suiting. :)
recklessdayss 6
89- WIN !
jdbest21 0
lol win
chrisakapookie 1
your a bitch ...
chammi 0
89, shutup. you look fat as well. I see why you're taking offense. I don't give a shit if half the population is fat. That's not my problem and it doesn't make it okay or less gross.
rocketeer_97 1
182- how about you shut the **** up ? no one wants to hear your whiney ass.
chammi 0
lmfao. how am I whining by speaking my mind about fat people? shut up. :)
ProhibitionRose 14
yeah...I'm HUGE! Which you know, having just had a baby plays absolutely no part in that. But at least I'm not as hideous as you are on the inside. Do everyone a favor and stopping flapping your gums you shallow ****.
chammi 0
Haha. Born in 1990 and already having kids. you ***** :) Get on the pill and don't reproduce ever again.
lionheart822 13
^ awesome comment T_T
MamaKay08 0
A) you don't have to be overweight for your thighs to rub together. B) OP, were you wearing those swishy pants again? :)