Today, while playing badminton, I was so distracted by my ex winking at me that I didn't notice the shuttlecock that hit me in the eye. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was pitching at a fastpitch softball game. The other team chanted about the ball being too high and almost hitting the batter in the eye. After throwing the next pitch, the ball was savagely returned by the batter, straight into my eyes. FML
Today, as I went to kiss my date goodbye and drive home, he mistakenly rammed his thumb across my eye hard enough to push my contact back into my eye socket. FML
Today, I was playing tennis with my friend. He hit a ball up high, and I slammed it down, thinking there was no way he would get it. Feeling pretty good about it, I turned around to celebrate. As I turned around, I got smacked in my face. He got it. FML
Today, I was playing tetherball with my younger brother. I get really competitive, so I threw it as hard as I could. It came around and hit me in the face. FML
Today, I was playing one on one soccer with a girl like. I accidentally kicked the ball right into her face. The ball rolled back towards me and as I was running to see if she was ok, I kicked the ball… right into her face again. FML
Today, I was laughing at a girl who really sucks at badminton. Turns out she has anger issues, and a really good aim when she's mad. I've never been hit so hard in the crotch before. FML
Today, I was at a professional tennis match. The ball was hit extremely hard, resulting in it going into the crowd. And when I say crowd, I mean my face. FML
Today, I was on a date and tried to act seductive and mysterious by slowly sipping my drink while making eye contact with him. I misjudged the straw’s length and location and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML
Today, a wasp knocked me out, broke my glasses, and left a gash over my eyebrow. It did so by flying under my glasses while I was playing my guitar, causing me to reflexively bat at it with the hand that was still grasping the guitar neck. FML
Today, I got hit in the face at a dodge-ball tournament. My entire mouth was bloody. The sad thing is, I wasn't even playing. FML
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Top comments
guitarbeast 22
Nothing like a good **** to the eye, ouch!
WCARlover 35
Commence "****" jokes
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Comments (122)
Ruffclue 9
i walked into the wall after cutting the onions for my gf.
chris36taylor 2
That probably explains the "ex" part.
Cad6 24
I wish my **** could fly.
Damn_Hippster 11
Lol he got a **** in the eye...a shuttle **** that is.
Heinousness 0
I love it when people say 'shuttle ****' instead of 'birdie'. It makes for good jokes. Such as: how many times has his **** been in Space?
SVZ 0
1st
guitarbeast 22
Nothing like a good **** to the eye, ouch!
niadanac1 3
I see what you did there.
TunechiXXL 0
Yeah he enjoys shuttlecock - to - eye contact as long as it's safe shuttlecock - to - eye contact.....
Feared 9
Maybe it was her whispering eye.
rocker_chick105 31
OP should've been wearing protection
ladyLALAA 29
9, Anchorman 2, that is all. :D
Inheritance 10
Pfft who doesn't like good **** to the eye time to time?
TunechiXXL 0
Anchorman 2 FTW!!!
georgey123 3
If only I was a space astronaught too...
RedPillSucks 33
ooohhh! Astro naughty!
Daiyuki 5
'Cause there's lots of other kinds of astronauts, right? Thank you for specifying that you mean them -space- astronauts
idontknowyou123 0
Damn must of been one hellbof a wink
blcksocks 19
With that spelling, I am so glad idontknowyou.
taco_bender 12
I see what u did there
eatdemcupcakes 4
Clever girl...
towboater198425 6
What did he do there smarty pants misspell his comment? Then u couldn't come up with anything original so u said I see what u did there
WCARlover 35
Commence "****" jokes
idontknowyou123 0
**** jokes? Ma'am thisbis FML we have some class... Besides whats so funny about roosters anyway? -sarcasm on internet is pointless-
duke56924903 11
Hahaha... Shuttlecock...
RedPillSucks 33
Roosters in spaces *echo*
skitzofunia88 8
... and the bartender says, " why the long face?"
Brannie 4
it's ok. I'm pretty sure its not the first time you've taken a **** to the face before.
Brannie 4
shit, I just realized OP is a guy.
MrSassypants 34
You're point is?
jagsville 8
14, you might still be right
MrSassypants 34
Did I just say "You're point is?"? Holy shit you guys are not thumbing that down fast enough.
icey0796 6
Before the comments flood in- A shuttle **** is the thing that they hit back and forth. Not an astronaut penis.
RedPillSucks 33
1st definition ... boring. 2nd definition ... oohhhh!
Random951 12
It could be both.
Cad6 24
There are other cocks that you can hit back and forth...
ShutUp007 22
Chicken abuse
LO388 7
Wow, never knew badminton was spelled with an "n"... I've always pronounced it like "mitten" and assumed it was spelled accordingly. Almost made fun of OP's spelling but then I googled it :-x
False_Stupidity 42
That's not something you should admit to on FML.
l0v3p4in 7
Even if you pronounced it as 'badmitten' it would still have an 'n' in it either way.
AssassinsCRB 0
derp
LO388 7
Oh, and also, YDI for playing badminton :)
Mearemoi 14
Says the person who never knew how to properly spell badminton until today.
sirsquab 12
Yeah, people who play badmitten deserve whatever they get.
nofearjenshere 12
I like badminton. It's the only game that I am decent in and can actually get into ... Other than that, I'm the most un-athletic person ever. :P