Today, I thought I heard someone shifting around in my house. I froze in fear and then I heard it again. I thought I was hearing things until I realized that it wasn't an intruder in my home. The shifting noise was my thighs rubbing together when I walked. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking up some stairs and heard a noise as if someone was following me. The faster I went, the louder the noise got. I was too scared to realize that it was just my thighs causing my jeans to chafe. FML
Today, while jogging, I heard an odd clapping sound over the sound of my iPod. I stopped running, and the sound stopped. This continued for an hour before I realized the slapping sound was my thighs slapping together violently. FML
Today, I woke up to shuffling noises coming from downstairs. Suspecting the worst, I jumped out of bed, and whispered over my shoulder for my girlfriend to stay quiet. Only after going downstairs and taking a swing in the dark with my bat did I figure out it was just my girlfriend foraging for snacks. FML
Today, I was chatting with my boyfriend and his mates barefoot on the grass. I suddenly felt something flick across my feet, so I let out a startled scream. Turns out it was my toe hairs rustling in the breeze. FML
Today, I kept hearing big *THUD* sounds across the house. The first few times, I didn't think anything of it. But after several more times, I started to suspect there was an intruder. After sneaking through the house, ready to knock out whomever was there, I found out it was my cat pushing things off the table. FML
Today, walking in the woods, I heard someone screaming like crazy. First I thought it might be a hurt animal, but then I heard syllables in the screams. When I yelled, “What’s going on there?!” there was only silence. It was so creepy, I’m too scared to walk my dogs there now. FML
Today, I finally felt motivated to do some exercise. As I got my weights out, I noticed out of the corner of my eye someone moving about outside my window. I got scared and dropped a weight on my foot. The person outside was my own reflection. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of footsteps outside my room. I investigated but found nothing. As I went back to my room, I heard a sort of giggling from inside. I was so scared, I grabbed my car keys, got the fuck out of there, and drove to my girlfriend's house in my pajamas. FML
Today, the neighbors heard a blood curdling scream and called the cops, thinking I was being murdered. Nope. I just stubbed my toe. FML
Today, I was woken at 4 a.m. by the sounds of someone crashing down the stairs. I scrambled out, still half-asleep, to find out that nobody was in an agonized heap at the bottom. The walls are so thin in my house that I could hear the neighbour falling down HIS stairs. FML
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Top comments
CateXOX 0
Before anyone else jumps to conclusions about OP's weight, I would like to point out that just because her thighs rub together does not mean she's fat.
Darcon 8
looool! Thunder thighs!
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Comments (223)
cobras40 0
lol u idiot
Wheredidgrungego 12
Because skin flopping together totally sounds like footsteps!
burritobitch 0
lol
GagaForGaga103 1
ha I know right:D
invicta8926 0
Don't leave the gas stove on..........BOOM!
iknowimawesome 13
Are your thighs really that loud?
flyboy96 0
You know you're fat when...
callofduty4life 0
you cant see your penis over your belly
HarryMcC 1
when you're thighs rub together and it sounds like someone walking
iLazy 0
you'd rather laze at home than go out with friends
lionheart822 13
when you can't fit through a door. you're mistaken for a new species. feel too lazy to walk after waking up. when your car loses air from just sitting in it. when you smell like you're smuggling Cubans(no offense) in your flabs. when your FUPA gets mistaken for a baby on the way.
ProhibitionRose 14
^lol 49 is win
lionheart822 13
lol "49"? did you mean me(59)? or the one before me(39)? =P
ProhibitionRose 14
stupid lying phone>.< I was referring to you
lionheart822 13
haha oh! well then, thank you =)
bms1996 12
you don't have to be fat for your thighs to touch...
silentblack 0
wow.
mostyn 0
TROLOLOLOL YDI FOR HAVING LEGS LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL FMyLife.com WOOO.
Monstee 2
shake shake
iLazy 0
There's a restraunt called phat ho. Do you go there?
carcinogan 0
lmaooo
tnf0920 9
Is you're referring to fat hoe burgers that place is disgusting and should be shut down...it probably will be soon.
hiyourcute 0
I'm pretty sure he's talking about an Asian restaurant, considering the spelling of "phat" and "ho"... but don't mind me, I'm just the girl with more than half a brain cell...
ProhibitionRose 14
girls with half a brain cell actually exist?!?! *audible gasp*
um_yeah_its_me 3
that's not how he spelled it nimrod. doesn't phat ho sound viatnamese to you? or are you too ignorant
posse22 0
lmfao, your comments are so funny!:)
littlemissFYL 5
you're getting a P90X for your birthday =)