Today, I texted a girl who I had hooked up with the night before to see if she wanted to hang out again. She responded, "I think we should keep it the way it was, before last night." I just met her last night. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I had a cute girl over and we cuddled on my bed. Later she texted me that she had decided that she didn't want to ever do that again because it turned her on. FML
Make the most of it
Today, I received a text message from my girlfriend, saying, "Do you remember the last time we slept together?" I replied straight away, "Of course, it was great!" To which she replies, "I hope you made the most of it, because it was the last time." FML
Take what comes
Today, I went out with my ex-girlfriend, with whom I have a good friendship with and am in fact still in love. I picked her up at her house and we had a perfect night together that ended with sex in my car. As I dropped her off, she turned to me and said, "I hope you know we're just friends." FML
No. Just… No.
Today, I had sex. The guy texted me an hour later, saying, "That was awkward. Let's not do that again." FML
Whoops
Today, an old friend of mine texted me, saying we should hang out. I thought it was really sweet and was excited to see her again, until she realized that she was texting the wrong person, and canceled our plans immediately. FML
We need a break
Today, the hooker I have been seeing regularly for almost a year texted me to say she thinks we should no longer see each other again. I just got dumped by a hooker. FML
Saucy
Today, I was texting this guy that I hooked up with yesterday. We were gonna do it again but he had basketball practice. I was talking to my friend about it, and sent her a text saying "Oh well. I have explosive diarrhea anyways." She wasn't replying, so I checked my sent box. I sent it to him. FML
Today, I texted my ex boyfriend that I still loved him. He texted back asking if this was some sort of booty call. FML
Today, I texted this girl I really like and she didn't answer. She did about two hours later and it said, "Sorry, I was having sex at the time you texted me. So how are you?" FML
Today, after seeing a girl for a few weeks on and off I sent her a text to see if she wanted to go out the next saturday. Predictive text changed "go" to "in". So..."Why don't we in out on saturday?" She stopped calling me. FML
Top comments
Crash92 0
Damn, I guess that means your pretty bad.
WildClown 0
Next time be a man and call her. Texting is for the weak.
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Comments (96)
omgitspoy 6
seriously if she was gonna do that at least she could have given you the wrong number
Phallus_fml 0
Call her and tell her you are gay anyway...
Truan_fml 0
You dumbass, this isn't all that bad it was an obvious one night stand, where she didn't want to see you again get over it, you stupid ****
MukyDaCookie 0
22 explains it perfectly
CLICKHEREx 0
Just in case, check out: SEVERAL SEX MISTAKES MEN MAKE, PLUS TIPS, in section 0, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris
cyxceven 0
The Booty Call.
brunions 0
I never call girls back unless they ask me to or end up calling me.
AnaMaree 0
It's called a one-night stand. She wanted to keep it that way.
FMallnight 0
MAN, YOU GOT LAID WHATS THE WHINING ABOUT
The_Master 0
I'd say ur life's ****** bcuz ur whining about this. shut up n go get some more booty, and then tell them the same thing you got told the next day. that should make u feel better...or at least make you stop bitching