Today, I texted a girl who I had hooked up with the night before to see if she wanted to hang out again. She responded, "I think we should keep it the way it was, before last night." I just met her last night. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had a cute girl over and we cuddled on my bed. Later she texted me that she had decided that she didn't want to ever do that again because it turned her on. FML
Today, I received a text message from my girlfriend, saying, "Do you remember the last time we slept together?" I replied straight away, "Of course, it was great!" To which she replies, "I hope you made the most of it, because it was the last time." FML
Today, I went out with my ex-girlfriend, with whom I have a good friendship with and am in fact still in love. I picked her up at her house and we had a perfect night together that ended with sex in my car. As I dropped her off, she turned to me and said, "I hope you know we're just friends." FML
Today, I had sex. The guy texted me an hour later, saying, "That was awkward. Let's not do that again." FML
Today, an old friend of mine texted me, saying we should hang out. I thought it was really sweet and was excited to see her again, until she realized that she was texting the wrong person, and canceled our plans immediately. FML
Today, the hooker I have been seeing regularly for almost a year texted me to say she thinks we should no longer see each other again. I just got dumped by a hooker. FML
Today, I was texting this guy that I hooked up with yesterday. We were gonna do it again but he had basketball practice. I was talking to my friend about it, and sent her a text saying "Oh well. I have explosive diarrhea anyways." She wasn't replying, so I checked my sent box. I sent it to him. FML
Today, I texted my ex boyfriend that I still loved him. He texted back asking if this was some sort of booty call. FML
Today, I texted this girl I really like and she didn't answer. She did about two hours later and it said, "Sorry, I was having sex at the time you texted me. So how are you?" FML
Today, after seeing a girl for a few weeks on and off I sent her a text to see if she wanted to go out the next saturday. Predictive text changed "go" to "in". So..."Why don't we in out on saturday?" She stopped calling me. FML
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Top comments
Crash92 0
Damn, I guess that means your pretty bad.
WildClown 0
Next time be a man and call her. Texting is for the weak.
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Comments (96)
skyoolie 0
this is why you don't sleep with people the day you meet them
jenn03 0
LOL *****
The_Cait 0
Hahaha. Wow. It sucks to be on the losing end of this, but that is a fantastically hilarious shoot-down line!
thisishilarious 0
dominated, by a girl... you suck at life and at sex, also why would you text a random hook up to hang out, you dont want to date ******
hyper12332 0
hahahahahah thats really funny
whatever234 0
Look at it this way: you got to get off, and now you're off the hook too. No need to hang out with her or listen to her call all the time...
memyselfandi_fml 0
#15, wrong fml
timbo1437 0
Yeah, that stinks, better luck next time.
graybear 0
That's because you sent a TEXT! Pick up the damn phone! What is with men these days?!!
666midnight 0
ah ha! you got owned XD Fail =)