Today, I suffered an uncontrollable sneezing attack. I have the runs. It wasn't exactly as bad as I'd have expected. Just a lot worse. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I was trying to get into the grocery store, I had a sneezing fit. I've typically never had one, so I didn't really know how to handle it. This one was a new record: 11 sneezes and I hadn't had the foresight to bring tissues. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard I fell down the stairs. FML
Today, I was on my way to work. Out of nowhere, my period started. Due to allergies, I had uncontrollable sneezes. Now, I have blood all over my pants. FML
Today, after just waking up, I sneezed, which caused me to piss myself. FML
Today, I had a cold and was vomiting. I sneezed really hard, smacking my nose onto the toilet seat. I woke up a few minutes later with my nose bleeding, painful, and still stuffy. FML
Today, I have such bad diarrhea that every time I sneeze I poop. I've discovered it's very hard to run to the bathroom every time I feel the urge to sneeze. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard that I threw my back out. Now my back is in agonizing pain, and I can barely walk. FML
Today, I had a sneezing fit in the middle of the night, like 10 really great big sneezes, but then it was over and I went back to sleep. I got up this morning and turned the light on, and turns out I’d been sneezing blood over everything, the bed, walls, carpet, furniture, clothes, everything. FML
Today, I've been having really bad seasonal allergies. I was at work, and feeling just about to sneeze for at least a full minute, but thought I could stop it. A customer came up to me, I opened my mouth to greet her… but instead sneezed right in her face. Several seconds before my addled brain caught up. FML
Today, I sneezed while I was throwing up into the toilet. It turns out that throwing up is even less pleasant when the puke violently shoots out through your nose. FML
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Top comments
RickySleeves 20
Bless you.
nattlecakes 19
Hope you were in a safe place like home where you could avoid embarrassment and wash off quickly. It must have been a pain to clean up though. FYL
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Comments (35)
booze_n_bitches 37
Runny nose and runny bum. Make sure you have some nice reading material in the bathroom and set up camp for the evening. Top tip: Save using extra tissue by wiping your nose then wiping your bum! Don't get mixed up!
PencilTips 19
You can't really get rid of the runs through one sitting. Usually a few days are required for it to go away. Also, drinking Seven Up helps a lot in this situation. OP should probably control his sneezing, and he'll be fine.
booze_n_bitches 37
Don't be daft what about all these "24 hour bugs" for food poisoning? Lots of diarrhoea-inducing gastroenteritis is self limiting and goes in a day. Maybe you're just unlucky when you get the *****.
UhHuhHoney 20
That's the worst! Take some pepto, hope you're feeling better OP!!
SecundusSecunda 27
Dont forget to stay hydrated, OP
pandemonium307 10
Don't trust a cough, sneeze or fart when you have the runs...
txtspy 4
Stop wondering and start knowing who your BF/GF is texting behind your back! →→ txtspy.xyz ←←
andrmac 25
Imodium AD is your friend it stops the tide and makes you pass out from being dizzy. Pedialyte will replenish your electrolytes not just for babies. I recommend grape flavor. After all is said and done you may need to force yourself to eat something if your stomach is bothering you ginger ale or 7up and saltines will calm it, but eating a real meal will make you feel human again.
LostGirl9456 15
Sounds like a shitty day. Sorry, OP.
CaptMacLeod 45
"Just a lot worse." Not only do I feel totally for your F'ed life, but I must compliment you for a brilliant turn of phrase. Everyone has their concept of how they think something would feel. In four words, you push this beyond the (already un)comfort zone. Bravo. Feel better!
Awgie 7
I feel for you this happened to me but I was violently throwing up as well
guttedbrit 26
ooh heck. I sincerely hope you were at home when this happened. get better soon, OP!