Today, I started my period. Every time I try to open a tampon, my dog goes crazy thinking it's one of his treats. Now I have to open them with my hair dryer on. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to pry my sister's used tampon out from between my dog's jaws. FML
Today, I caught my dog chewing on a tampon applicator. I tried to grab it from him, but he wanted to play "keep away" and ran outside. Like a dumbass, I chased after him in my underwear, earning myself the attention of my neighbors on each side of my driveway. FML
Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML
Today, I pulled a white cloth with string on the end from my dog's mouth. I then realized I was holding my sister's used tampon. FML
Today, I was showing the guy I like something on my phone. My period tracking app decided it was the perfect time to tell me that I need to stock up on tampons, because I'm getting my period tomorrow. FML
Today, I used a menstrual cup for the first time. When I took it out, a big chunk of dog hair came with it. I think I'm too grossed out to ever use it again. FML
Today, I decided to make the switch from pads to tampons. My boyfriend ended up having to show me how to apply them. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got to the stage in our relationship where she thinks its okay to change her tampon whilst I brush my teeth. FML
Today, my neighbor's dog decided to knock over our trash cans, which were full of my bathroom trash. I had to pick up tampon and maxi pad wrappers from all over the neighborhood. FML
Today, while I was changing my tampon, I somehow managed to fling period blood into my eye. I wish I was making this up. FML
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Top comments
Misswildsides 22
Do you let your dog in the bathroom with you when opening one or...?
cksmith51 14
Dogs like to attack the pussy, I don't blame him
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Comments (85)
laden_swallow09 35
What, a "No! Down, boy!" Won't work?
Alexis0927 22
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
For me it's hard to disappoint my dog when she's excited. I feel bad
beeferjay 34
she could always use scissors like a smart person. (theyre silent)
ohSNAPyall 27
37, I do believe you've solved the problem!
NeatNit 33
#16 it's the same for me with my cats... so excited. I feel like I'm breaking their hearts! But when you think about it it's their fault that they get excited over nothing.
NicoleP1993 29
@37 - Most are packed so compact (so they're easier to roll up and throw away) that trying to cut into the packaging will most likely make you cut into the pad.
sailorsaturn10 5
@72 They never said anything about a pad.
NicoleP1993 29
@73 - ah yes I missed that, but the exact same thing applies. Tampon packaging is just as compact and impossible to cut with scissors without damaging the tampon itself.
ceejaytee 4
What? What tampons are you using? Because the ones I buy could be cut with scissors and/or they have a silent little "tear here" spot on the wrapper.
jackthekeeper 24
Try a vacuum, that'll keep him away
ArturoJames 13
I tried that on my puppy. It worked until she decided to grow some balls and attack it everytime you use it.
cksmith51 14
Dogs like to attack the pussy, I don't blame him
demonicninja 15
Maybe do it when your dog isn't around? That really sucks though
Misswildsides 22
Do you let your dog in the bathroom with you when opening one or...?
letmesignup 11
I have a pitbull, it's either let him tear down the door or the hairdryer method
Kahli21 15
You could also try training the dog like a good pet owner. All dogs can be trained.
olillia 16
But pit bulls reeeeaaalllllyyyy want their human. Mine is forty pounds and she'll cry if I don't let her sit on my lap when I get home from work. Even if that does mean holding a puppy while peeing.
cristy91 33
My family has had a few pitties over the years and they are the biggest babies. They were well trained but if you made them sad they gave these huge pouty faces and would give puppy cries. It's pretty ridiculous seeing this big dog on his back crying because the belly rubs stopped.
ghetto_child 19
19, if your dog can't handle a simple sit and stay command with distractions in the background, you shouldn't be owning a dog...let alone a dog that already comes with a bad reputation as a dog that was bred to fight
HeartYou101 31
Pit bulls and Staffys apparently used to be referred to as 'Nanny Dogs' in the late 19th Century to the early 20th Century because they protected their owner's children. They're very loyal, protective and loving dogs WHEN they're NOT bred/trained for fighting.
ghetto_child 19
not bred for fighting? nanny dog? I think it's time you do some research....try starting at the ASPCA....
mandala123 6
66 you do. #62 is completely right. Ever since I got my pit I've became an advocate for pit bulls. We also have two 20lbs dogs and they're 10 x meaner than he is. They've growled and bite people. My pit has never growled or had bitten anyone. He was raised around children. If he sees a kid he starts to cry cause he wants to run to them to meet/play with them. He even runs to check on a child if he hears one yell. The only thing that is hard to train him on is to get him to sleep at the foot of the bed. He only likes to sleep between my boyfriend and I, he thinks we'll leave if he doesn't have a paw or his head touching us. Any dog can be mad to be mean if that's how you let him. If our house got robbed my pit would be excited cause there will be a human to pet or keep him company.
ghetto_child 19
direct quote from the ASPCA. "Todays’s pit bull is a descendant of the original English bull-baiting dog—a dog that was bred to bite and hold bulls, bears and other large animals around the face and head. When baiting large animals was outlawed in the 1800s, people turned instead to fighting their dogs against each other. These larger, slower bull-baiting dogs were crossed with smaller, quicker terriers to produce a more agile and athletic dog for fighting other dogs."
Redgy22 26
it's called training
pangio 2
why are you changing your tampon in front of your dog?
soullyfe 33
I took it as she was in the bathroom and the dog was on the other side of the dog, and heard it being opened rather than her changing in front of him. Hence the hair dryer to cover the sound of it.
I_Like_Dogs 28
Actually give him one. I bet he won't want anymore.
lukian_fml 29
Depends at which point it's given to him.
I_Like_Dogs 28
In case the dog ate level 1 without giving a shit, time for level 2.
ShannonBitt 29
My dogs wouldn't mind. They'd try to eat it and at least tear it apart.
gamerdude99 9
my dog eats my sisters dirty pads, and takes cat poop from the class litter box, scatters them around the house then eats most of them, leaving just enough for us to have to clean up, we've tried training him, all it does is make him do it when we're not looking
itsme82 18
How about training your dog?
venomousflower 24
Just shut the door
pete9913 23
That's hilarious. Mine goes crazy when I get cheese out for anything. she's only had medicine in it once.
Sigilwen 24
I gave my grandmother's old dog her meds in buttered bread. when she'd be hurting and time for her meds she would stair at the bread on the counter, to her it was what made her feel better. I still think of that dog when I make butter bread.