Today, I started a fight at a lesbian bar and lost. I'm a man. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I had dinner with the girl I thought I would end up marrying. Everything was going well and after I had paid the bill, she said she was a lesbian. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, she challenged me to see who could hook up with a straight girl first. I lost. FML
Mistaken identity
Today, after cutting my hair and shaving, I had girls hitting on me for the first time ever! Too bad they thought I was a butch lesbian, not a man. FML
Today, for the first time in my life, a girl hit on me. Specifically, a lesbian who thought I was a girl. FML
Today, I was walking out of a bar when someone grabbed me by the throat, and slammed me against a wall, saying "Stop fooling around with my wife, because next time - I'll kill you." I'm gay and haven't been with a woman since 1985. FML
MMA FML
Today, I decided to challenge the jerk jock at work to a fight, since he kept poking fun at me for being a weakling. Having started taking MMA classes, I was confident I'd make him eat his words. Just my luck, he's an MMA instructor and kicked my ass effortlessly. Not what I had planned. FML
Today, I went to the bar I've always gone to after work for the past 12 years. On arrival, I got banned for life, punched in the nose and thrown out. The barmaid comes out and says, "Sorry, wrong guy." FML
Today, I was fired for using violence and intimidation in the work place. I was a bouncer at a strip club. FML
No means no
Today, I got beat up at the bar. Why? I politely rejected a guy's sexual advances, so he turned to physical intimidation. I'm a soft-spoken 5'6 straight male. I've been ghosted by every woman I've talked to in the past two years. The only attention I've gotten is from men who can't take no for an answer. FML
Today, I went to the bar to celebrate my friend's birthday party. I gave the bouncer my ID and he kicked me out, saying that I should at least use an ID card with the correct gender. I'm 22 and female, he thought I was an underage boy. FML
Today, while I was out to eat, I was approached by the restaurant manager. He told me that while he respected my personal choices, his patrons didn't feel comfortable with someone who used to be a man using the women's restroom. He thought I was a transsexual. I am a naturally-born female. FML
Top comments
Arbosis 0
wtf why where you in a lesbian bar?
that_one_guy 0
I bet he was doing the highly credited and validated attack plan of "scoping out for bis." Of course I'm kidding about highly credited and validated bit but never the less. And I wouldn't worry to much about you loosing the fight, unless some mates saw it happen, some of those women can be pretty fierce.
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Comments (129)
thirdbase1733 0
this dude craps win
Schazam 0
The angle of your dangle is dirrectly proportional to the leanis of your penis.
lonidani9229 3
what were u doing at a lesbian bar???
maddiesonnn 0
i think you are a woman... man shudv won... u have no dick chickadeee
cloud_strife_ 0
Hey, don't underestimate those butch lesbians.
Pixeh_fml 0
YDI for going to a lesbian bar, unless you were solely there with friends. when will men get it through their thick heads that not every woman is playing hard to get, but truly is not attracted to men.
cattack 0
Why were you at a lesbian bar?
fuckedup79 0
hahaha!! so tru!
mmonster 0
That is sexist.
hannahcrogers131 4
Wimp! lol grow a pair. Gezz