Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw a wasp on the ground, apparently injured and unable to fly. It was being mobbed by ants and looked certain to die, so I stamped on the ants to save its life. At this point it sprung up, stung me, then flew off. FML
Today, I realized why my sister refuses to let me clean her side of the room. She's secretly been trying to revive dead ants. FML
Today, I came home after a long day at work, and decided to tidy up a bit before finally settling down to relax. I went to take the garbage out, when the bag split and out fell the trash along with hundreds of tiny red ants. FML
Today, while trying to take my Christmas tree down, I learned that at some point during the last few weeks, it became home to a colony of green ants. I'm now covered in bites and terrified to go anywhere near it. FML
Today, despite putting all the food in the fridge, taking all the rubbish outside, cleaning the house top to bottom and setting up bait, we're still dealing with a bloody huge ant problem. I've now got a rash all over from being bitten while I sleep. FML
Today, I found thousands of ants in a secret nest in an unused corner of my apartment. They were feeding on the baking mix I forgot in a box from moving in two months ago, and the queen has been laying her eggs on my wireless router. FML
Today, I kept finding ants crawling all over my face. After a while, I realized that they were all coming from my beard. I have had a population of ants living in my beard. FML
Today, after losing a battle with ants in my apartment, I just pulled one off that was biting me in the vagina. FML
Today, I walked outside my house to find my father in nothing but his underwear, spraying ants with ant-killer, laughing like a maniac and screaming, "Die bitches! Die!" FML
Today, I saw a dead ant. It made me think about how brief and fragile life is, why we're all here, and whether it has a point. It was a piece of lint. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
FutureMatty 24
More then cradling it, it was more likely trying to carry it to eat it lol
anmolm97 12
ant issues?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (227)
appforthat 9
You're a good person, for saving the rest. They have EVERY right to walk amongst us. They need to survive all the same. Like if it came down to it, no normal person would walk up to a lion and spray it with water for eating the crumbs from the dirty plates.
fufigi 5
That mental image made me laugh.
Kat_Kitten 5
No 'normal person' would go up to a lion, never mind spray water on it... whatever the provocation. If I have an ant in my home I will kill it, no hesitation. You think an animal in the wild (say your lion, for example) would hesitate to kill you if you were in its home? What if the 'cute' lil ants were termites? Should the OP just let them snack on the house till it is unfit to live in, for fear of harming them? There are plenty of places for insects, inside the house is not one of them.
brewmasterg 34
No one would do that because it wouldn't do anything except alert the lion that there is a viable food source being a dick and spraying it with water.
skyeyez9 25
All the worker ants are female. The only ones that are male have wings.
fufigi 5
I'm pretty sure it's the other way around.
skyeyez9 25
No it's not. Look it up..
skyeyez9 25
Worker ants are sterile females except the queen ant which is the only one to reproduce. The drone ants (winged ants) are the males.
xxlizsandraxx 7
I think you watched the movie antz too much
Opheliae 22
Exactly what I was thinking.
random_commenter 9
Use vinegar on their paths. It won't kill them, but they don't like the smell and it obscures their track markings.
PhilSnake22 13
I don't even know thy this FML got through, stop trying to turn killing ants in to a big emotional drama. Seriously, what age are you?
termin8tor786 10
You watch them suffer and die. You are EVIL !!
Jus2sly 8
Home wrecker lol
catanita 18
Call someone else to deal with you problem. An exterminator with experience.
KingCeltic77 18
Lay off the Disney movies.
2035 9
OP is actually the ant god. The ants angered her and she brought upon the great flood. She'll probably find ant Noah and his ark somewhere soon