Today, I sold yet another £100 bottle of lotion to a stuck-up teenage fashionista with less brain-power than the yapping bastard of a dog she carried in her arms. She did nothing but brag the whole time about her jewelry, and openly mocked me for only making minimum wage. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a customer yelled and cursed at me, splashing spittle in my face, and to top it all off she wished “my mom would die in a fire.” All this because I accidentally spilled her milkshake all over her Louis Vuitton handbag. Apparently, it “costs more than my rent.” FML
Today, I had to explain to a woman why she wasn't allowed to squeeze all the contents of the sample lotion bottle into her own bottle. She threw a fit, and dumped the whole bottle on my head. FML
Today, at my new job, I took some food out to a customer. Walking away, I heard a lady mumble, "Oh my God, you could never pay me enough to wear that." FML
Today, I was shopping in an upscale store. As I was changing, I heard one of the snobby saleswomen say to mine "You shouldn't bother. She isn't going to buy anything." Determined to "show her", I purchased everything I'd tried on. It came to around $500. My credit card was declined. FML
Today, I was called an 'unhelpful little bitch' by a customer, after I informed her that we couldn't order a pair of shoes she wanted from the company in her size because it's a discontinued model. This little tirade continued for another few minutes, with her insulting me and my intelligence. FML
Today, I bought some makeup supplies at the supermarket. The cashier snorted and muttered, "Not enough in the world for you." FML
Today, I listened as my ridiculously wealthy friend excitedly rambled on and on about her latest shopping trip. This is the same friend who owes me £150, and accused me of being insensitive for asking her to repay it at some point. FML
Today, while working at a dollar store, I was clobbered by a woman because apparently, I was ripping her off by charging two dollars for two doughnuts. She didn't understand that she couldn't buy multiple items at once for one dollar. FML
Today, a customer yelled at me so furiously that she sprayed my face with spittle. I had to stand there, smiling and politely explaining that I needed to see a receipt before I could give her a refund. When she finally gave up and left, my boss bitched me out for "provoking the customer". FML
Today, at work, a woman screamed at me and called me a bitch because I refused to refund something we give away for free. FML
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Top comments
mndlssphnx 10
Throat punch.
airforce987 20
Yes, but you get to laugh behind their back because the £100 lotion is really worth less than a pile of dog shit, and they don't know what the **** they are doing.
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Comments (180)
Irishgypsy 2
Mug her and punch the dog, then laugh in her face
RinaRina 9
And why would she touch the dog? Sir, you need help, mental help.
annie_nk 23
Be like Tyler Durden and sell their own fat to them. >:)
sinner92 4
I like your thought process.
perdix 31
I hope you jizzed in her lotion. That's a cheaper and faster way to get revenge compared to getting a good education and a dignified job.
unknown_user5566 27
... Unless the little rich-bitch likes that sort of thing. ;)
kimg0885 23
Love this idea. I know this didn't happen to me but for some reason I have spent the last half hour thinking about getting back at this chick.
misspulkadot24 17
Usually I don't condone shooting a load into someone else's things, but this girl sounds like she needs a swift kick in the ass...or...you know...**** in her lotion.
Breaker132 8
Next time you meet someone like that, mix super glue in the lotion; that's gotta do SOMETHING.
fanaticdragon 10
Don't worry, OP. If and when daddy dearest cuts her off, she'll realise the value of money and wish she had a job like you do. :)
kimg0885 23
You should switch out her expensive lotion for some " generic minimum wage lotion" the next time she comes in.
ohreallynow1992 3
Exactly what I was thinking!
Breaker132 8
No, no, no! Hot sauce! Seriously, fill some of the lotion with hot sauce or super glue! (maybe a shitload of bugs too, if they're such little bitches they should probably completely flip out.) Something that will do horrible things to them if they use it! They wouldn't really be able to point a finger at you either.
unknown_user5566 27
Should've stopped with your first comment. Less is more. :)
soad2014 7
...and that's why I hate rich people. I can't stand them!
Shrike 24
Yeah, cause all rich people are assholes, ESPECIALLY those selfish philanthropists, right? How about pulling your head out of your ass and stop being a generalizing *******?
Katiekhalifa_fml 28
You are fourteen! You are also dumb enough to put your phone number on the internet. That's how you meet online predators...
TheDrifter 24
Good advice, now if I can just get your number for our upcoming survey... I kid, I kid, don't shoot!
trellz17 19
This FML is worded really well. Haha it's funny!