Today, I had to explain to a woman why she wasn't allowed to squeeze all the contents of the sample lotion bottle into her own bottle. She threw a fit, and dumped the whole bottle on my head. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at Bath and Body Works with a friend of mine. She wanted me to smell a particular lotion and when she brought it up to my nose, she squeezed the bottle and lotion went all over my face. Right after, a worker came by and commented how the lotion "got a little too excited". FML
Today, a customer yelled at me so furiously that she sprayed my face with spittle. I had to stand there, smiling and politely explaining that I needed to see a receipt before I could give her a refund. When she finally gave up and left, my boss bitched me out for "provoking the customer". FML
Today, I had to walk through the women's perfume section to get to my normal aftershave. A woman was trying out a perfume, which she squirted on herself and me. You can imagine the afternoon I had to endure after I got home to my wife and she could smell "some slut's scent" all over me. FML
Today, I got screamed at by a woman at work for feeding her 3-week-old infant formula instead of the bottled Kool-Aid that she packed. FML
Today, I wanted to top up my shower gel dispenser. After carefully squeezing the entire tube into the dispenser, I realized why it looked so white: I'd mixed the remaining shower gel with the entire tube of fancy, expensive, organic body lotion that my grandma had given me for Christmas. FML
Today, a customer yelled and cursed at me, splashing spittle in my face, and to top it all off she wished “my mom would die in a fire.” All this because I accidentally spilled her milkshake all over her Louis Vuitton handbag. Apparently, it “costs more than my rent.” FML
Today, I gave my sister some Lubriderm for a skin condition we share. While she was applying the lotion I joking said, "Wouldn't it be funny if it made it worse?" Guess who got punched in the face, twice, because it did. FML
Today, I was grumbling about how they apparently changed the recipe of my favorite lotion and made it all weird and sticky, when I realized that, no, what they actually did was design a bottle of shower cream that looks almost exactly LIKE that of my favorite lotion. FML
Today, not an hour after my girlfriend lectured me on boundaries and "my body, my rules", she threw an epic tantrum because I wouldn't let her pop a pimple on my ear. Apparently, only she gets to have boundaries. FML
Today, my grandma and I went shopping. When I picked up some shower gel, she started ranting in front of everyone that shower gel injures one's "lady parts" and causes infertility, and that she wants me to give her great-grandchildren. FML
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Top comments
Kallian_fml 21
That woman is a genius! Well, for having the idea, not the getting caught part.
zahra_786 19
I wonder how long she has been doing that for & in how many stores! Quite clever but silly at the same time :).
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Comments (62)
Kallian_fml 21
That woman is a genius! Well, for having the idea, not the getting caught part.
JadeWinter 16
I fail to see how abusing the sample items, then acting like a completely uncivilised bitch makes one a genius.
Kallian_fml 21
Learn what a joke is.
JadeWinter 16
Oh! Right. I'm sorry. That honestly went way over my head.
nikki_1717_ 8
Haha im gonna try that some day, when i actually grow the balls to do it ...
laden_swallow09 35
25- Don't.
ChenEighty 20
25, have you not learned from the FML?
ositoakaluis 16
But she got away with it by acting like a psycho, so moral of the story is throw a bitch fit and you can get away with anything
NameInvalid 9
not a bad idea...
zahra_786 19
I wonder how long she has been doing that for & in how many stores! Quite clever but silly at the same time :).
lilhellian 27
Wait, we're not supposed to do that? Oh... That would explain why I sometimes get dirty looks..
RocketNinjaFish 12
Some people are just idiots. Unfortunately, there seems to be no escape from them at times.
fml121785 14
Straight trash! No one actually thinks that it would be an okay thing to do. She obviously got flustered & quite embarrassed when she got caught, so that was probably the real reason for the fit & pouring it OP. I'd have her banned from all locations of your store!
danial1214 21
I hate people who think that the rules apply to everyone except them.
jarrettd 27
No free lotion?!! *freakout
lilhellian 27
Heh.. My "favorite" line about that is "do as i say, not as i do."
AboveAll04 14
you should have blew your contents all over her face !
timelessone 16
Just don't do it prematurely ;)
cyanidesandwich 21
Well did you use what she dumped on your head to moisturize?
SerendipityRose 26
And as she stomped away in "righteous" indignation, you should've picked up a nice big glob & hurled it at the back of that silly bitch's head...
laden_swallow09 35
This… this would be worth the loss.
nicole23234 9
She would have put that in her bottle too!
anonymousguy1569_fml_fml 8
Whenever anyone dumps a liquid on me, I always try and wipe it off with their clothes :)
timelessone 16
This is why working retail sucks.
CptZoe 10
That is bloody clever!!