Today, I showed by ID to get into a bar and the bouncer kept it because he said it wasn't me. It was. Apparently I've gained so much weight I am unrecognizable. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, was my first day as a bouncer. I was a bit late and didn't meet all the staff. Later that night, some fairly drunk guy was trying to force his way in, I told him we were at capacity and that he would have to wait. He kept trying and I ended up pushing him to the floor. He was the owner. FML
Today, I was together with a few of my friends when I got up the courage to confess I have an eating disorder. One of my friends then said "... but you're not skinny." FML
Today, I wanted to use my gift card for a liquor store. I went to pay the cashier, who said he needed to see my license. I gave it to him, along with my gift card. After paying, he asked me if I wanted him to cut it up, since the card was now worthless. I said yes. He cut up the wrong card. FML
Today, I was searched and questioned at the airport for having an apple. FML
Today, I was fired for having a haircut that was 'inappropriate for the workplace'. I have alopecia. My boss told me to stop making up excuses. FML
Today, the guy I was seeing texted me a photo back of myself I had sent him earlier, saying I'm such a beautiful woman, suggesting that I set it as my profile pic. Too bad he doesn't think I'm pretty enough without a lot of enhancements, because he photoshopped the hell out of that thing. FML
Today, a guy asked for my number at a party. As I was entering my number into his phone, my name and a picture of me popped up. I'm afraid I just met my stalker. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy I had been talking to online for weeks. When I showed up, he looked nothing like his profile picture, and he spent the entire time talking about his ex-girlfriend. FML
Today, when I showed someone my 9-year old passport, she commented, “You look so different! Now you have that Jason Statham thing going on!” My hair goes down to my shoulders; this confirms that my receding hairline is real and it’s time to come to grips. At least I’m over 30. FML
Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML
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Top comments
tick_tock 0
You should have called the police, he can't keep your ID.
sportmaster525 0
well that's quite the predicament
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Comments (62)
prospekt1 0
how do you not know your fat???!!
k_i_l_r_o_y 0
put down the twinkie, and back away slowly
chococool223 0
This reminds me of this old FML where this girl who used to be really beauiful in her passport picture gained a lot of weight and when she went through customs at the airport she got held by security for "stealing someones passport"
DameGreyWulf 1
You know, I'm not normally the one to say "YDI for being fat" but... YDI for being fat. If you are seriously unrecognizable, then there is something wrong with your weight. Fix it.
Lehk 9
should have called the cops and had the bouncer arrested for larceny
Nightfallz 0
that's when you call the police and tell them he took your ID and refuses to give it back. I don't think bouncers can confiscate government issues ID's
RequiemCube 0
I'm not saying YDI for being fat... YDI for not going to get a new ID when the information on the old one was no longer valid. On the bright side, unlike changing your address, there's no "Change of Weight" form to fill out.
turbogirl 0
I sympathise. I'm waiting for the day my ID gets rejected. I've lost shit loads of weight since I had my ID done. :(
JakeTheGr8 0
That is the girl from Fast and Furious.
nprugby11 0
For everyone who's saying what the bouncer did is illegal...only in the fact that the OP's real ID was taken. Many states allow bouncers to confiscate fake IDs to prevent their use elsewhere.
chimmy 0
Yes. But it was a REAL ID. Therefore, him taking it was illegal and she should have threatened to sue or something, because he cannot take a real ID.
LilMissBossy 0
He THOUGHT it could be a fake. Regardless of the face that it was her real ID, I'm pretty sure the bouncer had the right to take it because he thought it was fake/not hers.
FlankerWV 0
Good luck proving that the bouncer KNEW it really was that person. Do you really think THEY wanted to go through all that hassle if they didn't think there was a good reason. I can say from personal experience. NO. I'd rather just let you go and think to myself "Wow, someone let themselves go" than sit there and get yelled at/bitched at/cussed at/screamed at just to prove a point... UNLESS I didn't think it was them.
NuclearWinter 0
YDI, fatty.