Today, I showed by ID to get into a bar and the bouncer kept it because he said it wasn't me. It was. Apparently I've gained so much weight I am unrecognizable. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, was my first day as a bouncer. I was a bit late and didn't meet all the staff. Later that night, some fairly drunk guy was trying to force his way in, I told him we were at capacity and that he would have to wait. He kept trying and I ended up pushing him to the floor. He was the owner. FML
Today, I was together with a few of my friends when I got up the courage to confess I have an eating disorder. One of my friends then said "... but you're not skinny." FML
Today, I wanted to use my gift card for a liquor store. I went to pay the cashier, who said he needed to see my license. I gave it to him, along with my gift card. After paying, he asked me if I wanted him to cut it up, since the card was now worthless. I said yes. He cut up the wrong card. FML
Today, I was searched and questioned at the airport for having an apple. FML
Today, I was fired for having a haircut that was 'inappropriate for the workplace'. I have alopecia. My boss told me to stop making up excuses. FML
Today, the guy I was seeing texted me a photo back of myself I had sent him earlier, saying I'm such a beautiful woman, suggesting that I set it as my profile pic. Too bad he doesn't think I'm pretty enough without a lot of enhancements, because he photoshopped the hell out of that thing. FML
Today, a guy asked for my number at a party. As I was entering my number into his phone, my name and a picture of me popped up. I'm afraid I just met my stalker. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy I had been talking to online for weeks. When I showed up, he looked nothing like his profile picture, and he spent the entire time talking about his ex-girlfriend. FML
Today, when I showed someone my 9-year old passport, she commented, “You look so different! Now you have that Jason Statham thing going on!” My hair goes down to my shoulders; this confirms that my receding hairline is real and it’s time to come to grips. At least I’m over 30. FML
Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML
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Top comments
tick_tock 0
You should have called the police, he can't keep your ID.
sportmaster525 0
well that's quite the predicament
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Comments (62)
tehgeorgeh 0
As opposed to something 75% illegal, #28
Funky_T 0
Your so fat, you gonna get arrested at the airport on holiday for 10 pounds of crack..... and your Passport photo says 'Picture is continued overleaf'
elliekinslurvsya 0
i don't know why everyone is assuming that this person is just fat... their gender is not listed next to their name. for all we know, this could be a pregnant woman. or maybe there's some reason this person gained weight that he or she couldn't control...stop jumping to conclusions, people, there are a lot of different possibilities.
imandien 0
If you're fat, then YDI. If it's something out of your control, FYL.
jakeidk 0
duh easy quit being fat...
triggerit 5
op you better go to gym....
yelad93 4
ydi for getting fat
scotter35 0
i like pie
ChickInGreenVans 12
im pretty certain that it is..
BananEnigma 24
He can't bloody well do that without proof. What an ASSSSSS.