Today, I saw an elderly woman in need of help of crossing a street. I helped her across. On the way she just about fell and held onto me to keep from hitting the ground. After she left on her bus I reached for my wallet. It was gone. I had just been robbed by a 70 year old. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was walking down the street, when a little old lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me for being "such a nice young man". It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML
Today, I was riding my bike to work in a hurry and hit a pothole. I flew off and hit the ground hard. I was badly shaken, but an old lady came over, checked me out and helped me to my feet. After she left the scene, I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet while "helping" me. FML
Today, I saw an elderly man struggling to make it across a busy street. I jumped up from my table at Starbucks to help him, leaving my things behind. When I got back to my table feeling good, I found that my coffee had disappeared. So had my wallet. FML
Today, I witnessed an elderly lady getting mugged. I ran over to the guy mugging her and offered him the money in my wallet in return for him leaving her alone. The old lady snatched my money and ran away with the mugger. What the hell just happened? FML
Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML
Today, I helped a "blind" man across the street. He kindly said thank you and patted me on the back. Then, I went into a store and realized my wallet was missing. FML
Today, I took the bus. The old lady next to me almost fell when the driver stopped, but I managed to catch her. Five minutes later, the same thing happened to me. The old lady tried to help me, but I lost my balance and pulled her skirt down. FML
Today, I was sitting on the bus to the gym. I saw that an old woman needed help to get off the bus, so I got up, and helped her off. When I had finally got her down the stairs the bus closed the doors and drove away. I was in the middle of nowhere and the bus drove away with all my things. FML
Today, I was was leaving the library when I noticed an elderly woman being mugged. I was about to leave on my bike, but promptly went to help her. After I managed to scare off the mugger, I helped her to her car. As I was heading back to my bike, I notice the mugger riding off on it. FML
Today, I passed out on the way to work. Some lucky passerby took this as an opportunity to help themself to my purse. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
If I ever meet OP, I'm going to proceed to punch him in the left nut for using "proceeded" twice. It's redundant, excessive, extra, superfluous, unnecessary, unneeded, and redundant. And it makes you sound like an asshat.
bethan1 4
No good deed goes unpunished, op.
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Comments (75)
Judus_beej 0
don't trust the elderly! they have nothing left to lose.
iliketurdles 7
^.
towboatdude 0
You was scammed by a little ole lady. Hahahahahahaha. But really that does suck. Because it's hard to replace everything in your wallet.
jakeisawake 3
OP, maybe the old lady didn't rob you. As much as I despise old people, she could have needed genuine help. Whether she took it or not... I think it's time you start cancelling some credit cards.
xspaniardx 3
8( you don't like old people? sadness.
belouie 2
hahahahahahahahaha that sucks
SeedlessMe 13
Wow, that old bird is so pimp! I so aspire to be her one day.. That really sucks though...
starberries 0
I don't see why it's so amazing that an old person would rob you. Do you think thieves magically grow a conscience just because they get older?
fightingkittens 39
Today, I proceeded to go on the FML website, where I proceeded to read some FMLs, and then proceeded to comment on one of them where the OP proceeded to butcher the word "proceeded." So I proceeded to butcher it too. FML Take the hint, OP.
DocBastard 40
He did...waaaaaay back at comment #18. :)
fightingkittens 39
DocB--just making sure! :P
MIZZIMANI310 0
YDI don't help people
NickK49 0
tricky ass hoe
_Rachell 0
You should be lucky she didnt beat you up in the process, count your blessings.