Today, I saw a major accident then stopped to help the drivers. I was on my way to a rest stop to use the bathroom so as we were waiting for police I went into the woods and I come out to the police arresting me for public urination. One of the drivers said I was "using the woods for a bathroom." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was on a long road trip and I really had to pee. With no rest stop for miles and night having fallen, I decided to pull over on the side of the highway and pee in a fast food cup. A cop knocked on the window to see if everything was okay, while I was mid-squat. FML
Today, I was driving home. I desperately needed the bathroom, so I was speeding a little bit. A cop pulled me over and gave me hell. He said he'd heard my story a hundred times and didn't believe me. I couldn't hold it and ended up marinating in my own piss while he ran my plates. FML
Today, while driving home I had to pee really bad, so I speeded up to get home quicker. I got pulled over for speeding and peed my pants. The cop, assuming I was drunk, made me take a sobriety test. I had to walk a straight line with piss all over my pants at 2:00 in the afternoon. FML
Today, I went for my usual morning run. Halfway through, I needed to pee, so I found a perfect bush… to walk in on a lady who had also stopped to pee. I was called a pervert. FML
Today, I stopped and helped a young lady stuck on the side of the road. Guess who got accused of forcing myself and got charged with impersonating a police officer. FML
Today, I was driving by the carnival and I really had to use the bathroom. I saw a porta-potty next to a house, so I parked in their front yard to use the bathroom very quickly. I came out to see a group of teenage boys urinating on my car. FML
Today, I came home after being stuck in traffic needing to pee really badly. When I went to the bathroom, my boyfriend was on the toilet. I couldn't hold it longer, so I went into the woods behind our house and found a bush. Relieving myself, my butt started to itch. I was sitting in Poison Ivy. FML
Today, I drove 100 miles from my parents' house to mine. I had only a few miles left when I realized I really had to pee. I didn't want to pull over somewhere when I was so close to home, so I sped up. A cop pulled me over a block from my house. I started to sob, and ended up peeing myself. FML
Today, I saw a crash on the highway. The police weren't yet there, so I pulled over to help because I know CPR. No one needed CPR, but I had locked myself out of my car. My roadside assist won't come to highways, so I had to get towed away in front of everyone. FML
Today, while at the dog park, I suddenly had to use the bathroom really badly. Since there weren't any facilities nearby, I decided to go behind a tree and relieve myself there. While doing this, two other owners, one who's in my math class, noticed me, despite me trying to hide. She definitely saw everything. School will be fun tomorrow. FML
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Top comments
ArtsySwag 0
So... you helped one of the drivers and they reported you? That's so rude. And besides, a little pee won't hurt the trees.
Ub3r_Crippl3 0
That's a crime?!?
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Comments (71)
Lonely_Lez 0
Public urination is a crime similar to dragging a dead horse down main street on a sunday is. Sure, if it's in front of people, it makes sense, but in this situation the cop was being a complete dick. I'm assuming since you posted this you were released. Hopefully the charges were dismissed. If not, a jury would never convict you unless they had personal prejudices. Good luck.
Snippy11 0
I want to see a passionate argument on boston legal about that case.
uscscreenwriter 0
#58, you win.
munchly 17
oh Alan Shore would have a great speech about how everyone should pee in public!
PimpDaddyT 0
you need to contest that shit in court. just deny it. it's on the court to PROVE you guilty. outside of video evidence you'll get off. jeeze why is it ok for a dog to piss on the flowers in my front yard but it's a ticketable offense to piss in the woods.
fml2102008 1
damn that sucks!
warrenthewalrus 0
That cop is an anus. :|
RuralNinja 0
Did the cop see you pee in the woods? If not, it boils down to your word against theirs, and the cops shouldn't arrest you in that situation. However, we all know most cops are just in it to stroke their own egos, so no wonder they arrested you. Hopefully you get out of it without being put on the sex offender registry. (Yes, public urination is a crime that could be punished by registration as a sex offender.)
mangotreats 2
the prejudice remarks about cops are uncalled for. you should be thanking your lucky stars that there are people willing to put their lives on the line every day to protect us. law enforcement officers are people and like any other professions there are bound to be a handful of assholes but that doesn't mean you can make blanket statements like that... ugh "cop haters" make me sick.
twindaddy 0
There are good cops and there are bad cops. The majority of cops are ok guys/girls. But there are some who are just downright assholes and shouldn't have a badge. This sounds like one of those guys.
SuperSpore 0
And then there are monsters who beat the living crap out of innocent people and don't let people see their dying mother in laws.
RuralNinja 0
When you've seen it from the inside, you can make blanket statements like that. Maybe its not like that everywhere, maybe I was just unlucky and worked with a bad group of guys, but from what I saw on the inside, a lot of cops stop caring about the public so much after a while. It might be as subtle as caring about stopping the crooks more than protecting the public, but that can eventually lead to the asshole cops who write you a ticket for doing 26 in a 25. And I didn't come close to saying every cop was like that. A majority can be 99/100, or it can be 50,001/100,000. So stop acting like I said every cop, I said a simple majority.
SpliffyMcBlunt 0
Public urination only counts when you're IN THE PUBLIC, A FOREST IS NOT PUBLIC. Where the he'll else are you gonna piss.
dnotter 0
how is a forest not public? anyone can walk in to it, therefore it's public. Where the hell else would you piss? maybe you could urinate in the rest room that the OP was originally going to...
qwertyone 0
Using that logic, urinating into a public bathroom is illegal. Of course it isn't...just making a point.
shnibz101 0
Eh?
tranman978 0
Damn then ive broken the law many times :(. Im moving to canada then!!!
munchly 17
it's illegal over here too! just most of the cops are too high to care :P
jmeg_fml 0
Wow, that sucks. I don't see anything wrong with going in the woods if people can't see you from the street. It's not any different from a squirrel or deer peeing.
Nacirema20 0
wow.. that sux... :-/ FYL.