Today, I saw a customer at the restaurant I work at lovingly petting his cheeseburger and whispering sweet promises to it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried to flirt with the cute cashier at my usual drive-thru. Instead of saying, "Thank you," I panicked and said, "I love you." Now I have to find a new favorite burger place. FML
Today, I had a customer propose to me. I work at Taco Bell. FML
Today, a man from across the bar looked at me, pointed, and said "MMMM, now THAT'S what I want." Offended, I confronted him to tell him I felt disrespected by him referring to me as 'that.' Turns out, he was pointing to the cheeseburger that the waitress behind me was holding. FML
Today, I was on cloud nine when the beautiful waitress I frequently ordered takeaways from told me she didn't need to take my name as she remembers me from before. When I got my food, I saw the sales slip. On it she had written, "Cheeseburger - Fries - Coke - Nerdy guy with bad haircut." FML
Today, I went out to eat with my girlfriend. The waiter came up and was being nice. He said, "What can I get you two gentlemen?" FML
Today, while at work, a customer came up to me, stuck his finger in my armpit, then licked his finger. FML
Today, I started my new job at a restaurant I really like. As I waited on my first customer, I suggested that he try the apple pie, because it's my favourite. He looked up at me and said, "Yeah? Figures! Lay off 'em, porky!" FML
Today, while checking out a couple at work, I handed them their receipt and wished them a good day. The woman promptly pulled her husband to the side, and whispered to him about how much of a "fucking idiot" I was for making the prices so high. I work at McDonald's. FML
Today, working at a fast food restaurant, I was berated by a customer for a good two minutes. It's okay though because she ended with, "Sorry, I forget you all are real people." FML
Today, this really cute guy at work kept flirting with me and cracking the funniest jokes. Before he left, he told me how much he enjoyed making me smile. An hour later, I saw my reflection in a mirror, I had a huge piece of food stuck in my teeth. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Queensland 27
He's lovin' it.
lil_ham1644 29
Sweet promises? What, like "I promise it'll be over soon, you just look so tasty I could eat you up."
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (88)
Silly_Lilly6969 23
Was it Fluffy?
njgohard 16
'Cause you could smell it!
fsomelife 26
You mean dessert?
blazerman_fml 17
A way to a man's heart is through his stomach.
Tooorrriii3 22
I thought everyone did this..
PlasmaPorter 12
Carry on my wayward buns, they'll be fries when you are done. Lay your weary buns to rest, dontcha cry no more..
ArashiGirl 13
You my good sir win the internet.
Meettitan 14
Lay your weary bread to rest, don't you fry no more.
anythingmustbe 18
Oh, Baby, They may call me a fool, But I can't help, Our gravitational pull.
Aquaman911 18
Maybe it was Spongebob in disguise...
Vanessa_Leeann26 17
Foodies. They are way too into their food. =
sexual_girl 15
Least he wasn't doing the same to you?
Kstruggles 15
I've kinda done that, when It's like my favourite dish, and I've been craving it for a while.