Today, I saw a customer at the restaurant I work at lovingly petting his cheeseburger and whispering sweet promises to it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to flirt with the cute cashier at my usual drive-thru. Instead of saying, "Thank you," I panicked and said, "I love you." Now I have to find a new favorite burger place. FML
Today, I had a customer propose to me. I work at Taco Bell. FML
Today, a man from across the bar looked at me, pointed, and said "MMMM, now THAT'S what I want." Offended, I confronted him to tell him I felt disrespected by him referring to me as 'that.' Turns out, he was pointing to the cheeseburger that the waitress behind me was holding. FML
Today, I was on cloud nine when the beautiful waitress I frequently ordered takeaways from told me she didn't need to take my name as she remembers me from before. When I got my food, I saw the sales slip. On it she had written, "Cheeseburger - Fries - Coke - Nerdy guy with bad haircut." FML
Today, I went out to eat with my girlfriend. The waiter came up and was being nice. He said, "What can I get you two gentlemen?" FML
Today, while at work, a customer came up to me, stuck his finger in my armpit, then licked his finger. FML
Today, I started my new job at a restaurant I really like. As I waited on my first customer, I suggested that he try the apple pie, because it's my favourite. He looked up at me and said, "Yeah? Figures! Lay off 'em, porky!" FML
Today, while checking out a couple at work, I handed them their receipt and wished them a good day. The woman promptly pulled her husband to the side, and whispered to him about how much of a "fucking idiot" I was for making the prices so high. I work at McDonald's. FML
Today, working at a fast food restaurant, I was berated by a customer for a good two minutes. It's okay though because she ended with, "Sorry, I forget you all are real people." FML
Today, this really cute guy at work kept flirting with me and cracking the funniest jokes. Before he left, he told me how much he enjoyed making me smile. An hour later, I saw my reflection in a mirror, I had a huge piece of food stuck in my teeth. FML
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Top comments
Queensland 27
He's lovin' it.
lil_ham1644 29
Sweet promises? What, like "I promise it'll be over soon, you just look so tasty I could eat you up."
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Comments (88)
nanxi 30
He must've been on a diet
sk8_king 23
Anyone think of spongebob? I think there was a episode like this a long time ago haha
pitapizzaparty 18
How is this an FML? It has nothing to do with u?
CrysisKing 5
What were the promises?
False_Stupidity 42
Soon my preciousss, soon we will take over the world, one restaurant at a time...
loserman67 36
Making love to a good cheeseburger is on any man's list - cheeseburgers are the food of the gods - ESPECIALLY if they have bacon on them
CupOfCoffee 14
Was it Spongebob?
miggymikyy 13
That's probably spongebob in real life
GirasolNegro 22
Was his name Sponge Bob Square Pants?
nicievans 9
So you've met my husband? Triple meat, triple cheese burger, drag it through the garden, an order of Hardy Fries for an appetizer and regular fries with the sandwich?