Today, I saved a woman from drowning at a pool where I lifeguard, but when I got her out of the water she started screaming about sexual assault. Apparently I accidentally brushed her breasts when pulling her up and out of the water. She wants to sue me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML
Today, I rescued a little boy who looked like he was drowning in a public pool. His mother then smacked me in the face for "touching him". FML
Today, after jumping into a public swimming pool, the female lifeguard, who I have had a crush on for years whistled at me. When I got out of the water, she handed me the bathing suit I'd apparently lost. FML
Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML
Today, I went to the university pool. There was this cute lifeguard there, and every time I got out of the water I saw her looking at me, so I walked up to her and asked if everything was OK. She told me she thought I was going to drown. FML
Today, I was verbally and physically attacked in a public pool, because I was swimming in what a grandma claimed was her part of the pool. Since I'm a very tolerant person, I calmly tried to talk some reason into the elderly lady. The lifeguard had to come to protect me. FML
Today, while lifeguarding, a kid thought it'd be hilarious to take a crap in the pool. The other kids freaked out and rushed to get out. Several of them slipped on the way out and hurt themselves fairly badly. Two parents are now threatening to sue us, and my boss blames me. FML
Today, I was lifeguarding at a community pool when I noticed a toddler go underwater. I quickly jumped in but suddenly got a cramp, which caused me to stall. When I looked up, I saw an old woman saving him, and got a shoe thrown at my head. I was fired. FML
Today, I was at work lifeguarding and saw a kid drowning on the far end of the pool. I decided running would be the quickest way to get to her, but as I ran across the pool deck I slipped and hit my head. The kid's mother jumped in to save her child and then called an ambulance for me. FML
Today, while taking part in a lifeguarding exercise, I was supposed to "drown" to get another guard to save me. After all was done, my boss called me into his office and screamed at me for "drowning the wrong way," and threatening our reputation. FML
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Top comments
sketckgamer13 8
man that is bad if a lifegaurd was saving me from drowning i would have the common sense to know that brushing my breast would be a accident and i would be worrying more about getting saved
Dave_Davington 34
Slightly off topic, and maybe I'm just being thick here, but I've never understood why people who can't swim well enough to not drown in a swimming pool go to swimming pools in the first place. Especially grown adults who should know better.
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Comments (46)
Lobby_Bee 18
You can't tell she wants you? By threatening to sue, you have no choice but to offer to do anything as a settlement. I could be clouded by **** plots though.
Matt Kesler 16
she probably wasn't even drowning, she had this all planned out and was just looking to make a cheap buck.
Matt Kesler 16
she probably wasn't even drowning, she had this all planned out and was just looking to make a cheap buck.
RockPrincess26 16
This is another reason why those feminazis should be debunked and sent away.
GoogieWithers 25
Stupid woman! You saved her life, I think after that you deserve to cop a feel!
GoogieWithers 25
I am female and was joking, I was trying to point out how ridiculous the accusations were. I am completely against any kind of sexual assault. I believe that this is not the case here.
GhostFox 34
It says some ****** up things about the world that people interpreted that as a sincere opinion.
RedP 5
In the name of FEMINISM!!!!!
Tony Friddle 11
sounds like you should've thrown her back.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Wow, people will do anything to make a buck. I almost wonder if she was fake drowning for this reason, because the way you're supposed to save someone from drowning is to grab them under the armpits. On a woman, there's a good chance you'd brush against her boob doing that. Hopefully there were some witnesses who can vouch for you.
Matthias219 8
Push her back in the pool
PenguinPal3017 19
I'm glad that my job doesn't require me to make physical contact with people. I would not take kindly to this type of thing.