Today, my husband thought I might want to get intimate. I've never seen someone vacate a room so quickly. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was taking a shower when my husband suddenly came in naked. I thought we were gonna have some fun, and so tried to be sexy. He took a quick shower and left. FML
Today, after confronting my husband about lack of intimacy in our marriage, I found him playing with himself. His response to my shock was, "This is less work and less involving." FML
Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating. I thought it was hot and asked if I could join in. He threw me a disgusted look and screamed that I’d ruined the whole mood. Now we’re both unsatisfied. FML
Today, I sat down on my bed completely naked in front of my husband and said, "Man, it's hot in here!" while spreading my legs. He just blew on my vagina, asked if that was better, and then walked away. FML
Today, I was having some rare good sex with my husband, when he suddenly said, "I'm fuckin' BORED," and pulled out so he could go play his video games. FML
Today, my husband walked in on me while I was masturbating and watching porn (yes women do it too). Now he thinks I’m unsatisfied with him or our sex life. All I wanted was a quick release. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband having sex with the shower wall. When I got in the shower with him he immediately went soft. FML
Today, my husband wanted me to "spice up" our sex life. I guess he didn't count on me vomiting when he came in my mouth. We won't be getting intimate again for a long, long time now. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my husband, and I tried to do a swift position-change like they do in the movies. I wound up flipping off the bed and busting my nose open on the floor. FML
Today, my wife asked me to come talk to her in the bedroom. Thinking she wanted to have a quickie while her sister was spending time with our son, I rushed into the room. She didn't want a quickie, she wanted a divorce. FML
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Top comments
poopface82 25
Are you married to Al Bundy?
Chazzster 32
If husband has health issues or is on certain medications, he might have problems with being able to perform sexually. That’s not something a man likes to admit, even to themselves, much less to their wife. Talk to husband about this in a non-judgmental way. There are often medical solutions to this medical problem. If this is the case he needs to see a urologist - That’s within their specialty. Or if it’s a current medication issue (many antidepressants have similar effects) then he should talk to the prescribing doctor. Most of the time these problems can be solved, but it requires honesty and openness.
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Comments (5)
poopface82 25
Are you married to Al Bundy?
Bogrbon 27
Is your husband secretly gay, and trying to hide it?
Chazzster 32
If husband has health issues or is on certain medications, he might have problems with being able to perform sexually. That’s not something a man likes to admit, even to themselves, much less to their wife. Talk to husband about this in a non-judgmental way. There are often medical solutions to this medical problem. If this is the case he needs to see a urologist - That’s within their specialty. Or if it’s a current medication issue (many antidepressants have similar effects) then he should talk to the prescribing doctor. Most of the time these problems can be solved, but it requires honesty and openness.
1known 34
What happened?