Today, I rushed home during a torrential downpour. When I got back, I went to take a pee and took off my wet socks while I had the chance. Once I finished, I stood up with used toilet paper in one hand and wet socks in the other. Guess which I tossed into the toilet. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was in the bathroom at the mall and the toilet paper had ran out. I had to use the socks I'd just bought. FML
Today, I woke up, put on my fuzzy socks, walked down my hallway, and stepped in cat vomit. I took off my now wet socks, continued walking down the hallway, and stepped barefoot in cat shit. FML
Today, I went to change my socks after I stepped in a puddle of water. As I walked out of my bedroom with a fresh pair of socks, I stepped in the puddle again. Three times. That's four pairs of socks ruined. God, I'm such a dumbass sometimes. FML
Today, after a 2-hour meeting, I rushed to take an urgent dump. Unbeknownst to me, my urine was not hitting the porcelain bowl, but rather the underside of the lid. As it pooled around the pedestal, it soaked my pants, underwear, and when I stood up to button my pants, it got on my shirt too. FML
Today, I woke up desperately needing to pee. I sat up in bed, naked, and tried to decide if I should get dressed, or run for it and hope no one saw me. I guess I took too long to decide, because as soon as I stood up to run, I pissed on the floor. FML
Today, I was shopping in a mall when I needed to go to the bathroom. One of the toilets was out of order, so I went to the other toilet. After that, there was no toilet paper, so when I saw tissue in the sink, I left the stall with my pants down and someone saw me. FML
Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML
Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML
Today, after racing home with a jumbo package of toilet paper, I ran into my house to go to the bathroom. I then realized I'd left the toilet paper in the car. FML
Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML
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Top comments
Buttsexpirate 9
Umm, umm, umm I can't do it! I just can't do it. Tell me please, the suspense is killing me!
RomanBeauty 0
Why would you stand up before using toilet paper? Or- if it was used, why wouldnt you just toss it in right after you used it? Gross- either way.
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Comments (145)
Lidiya8lml 0
Throwing out a pair of socks is not as bad as throwing away a $50 bill down the toilet or a cellphone. You can always replace socks easily.
DocBastard 40
True, just like vomiting on your girlfriend during sex isn't as bad as thermonuclear war, but those vomit FMLs still make it on the site.
perdix 31
Or giving $100 to a hobo who ends up purchasing depraved sexual acts from your mom.
Cmdr_Shepard 17
Why didn't you just drop the toilet paper after wiping? Why didn't you just toss your socks aside instead of holding them in your hand when it's wet? Come on now...
je_suis_fml 11
socks happen..
Amandabobmaxwell 4
Blahblahblah..
perdix 31
Here's my official entry to the contest: You threw the socks down the toilet and wrapped your feet in urine-soaked toilet paper. If this is the winning entry, please donate my prize money to the "Revive the Lambada" Foundation.
mrbendystraw 0
Flush the socks and toilet paper, then go to WalMart and buy some more of both. Problem solved.
furmum69 5
The toilet paper?
deviable 9
The toilet paper! Did I win something?!
yodas0da 12
fish them out with chopsticks & throw them away! if your pro then you've got nothing to worry about
soccerchicx9x 5
.....Why did you stand up with dirty toilet paper in your hand??
applespicedcider 1
I hope you didn't flush! The socks were already wet anyways- so I would have just fished them out, and tossed them in the washer.