Today, I rushed home during a torrential downpour. When I got back, I went to take a pee and took off my wet socks while I had the chance. Once I finished, I stood up with used toilet paper in one hand and wet socks in the other. Guess which I tossed into the toilet. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was in the bathroom at the mall and the toilet paper had ran out. I had to use the socks I'd just bought. FML
Today, I woke up, put on my fuzzy socks, walked down my hallway, and stepped in cat vomit. I took off my now wet socks, continued walking down the hallway, and stepped barefoot in cat shit. FML
Today, I went to change my socks after I stepped in a puddle of water. As I walked out of my bedroom with a fresh pair of socks, I stepped in the puddle again. Three times. That's four pairs of socks ruined. God, I'm such a dumbass sometimes. FML
Today, after a 2-hour meeting, I rushed to take an urgent dump. Unbeknownst to me, my urine was not hitting the porcelain bowl, but rather the underside of the lid. As it pooled around the pedestal, it soaked my pants, underwear, and when I stood up to button my pants, it got on my shirt too. FML
Today, I woke up desperately needing to pee. I sat up in bed, naked, and tried to decide if I should get dressed, or run for it and hope no one saw me. I guess I took too long to decide, because as soon as I stood up to run, I pissed on the floor. FML
Today, I was shopping in a mall when I needed to go to the bathroom. One of the toilets was out of order, so I went to the other toilet. After that, there was no toilet paper, so when I saw tissue in the sink, I left the stall with my pants down and someone saw me. FML
Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML
Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML
Today, after racing home with a jumbo package of toilet paper, I ran into my house to go to the bathroom. I then realized I'd left the toilet paper in the car. FML
Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML
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Top comments
Buttsexpirate 9
Umm, umm, umm I can't do it! I just can't do it. Tell me please, the suspense is killing me!
RomanBeauty 0
Why would you stand up before using toilet paper? Or- if it was used, why wouldnt you just toss it in right after you used it? Gross- either way.
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Comments (145)
ricerboy 0
Why did u need toilet paper for peeing?
Sirin_fml 47
I have a better question: why were you born?
ShroomsOnAcid 17
*facechainsaw*
ikickgingers 15
19-the symbol next to the post denotes OP's gender as being female. If you still have questions go ask your parents for 'the talk'...
DocBastard 40
Ricerboy, don't listen to these mean people making fun of your innocent question. The reason girls need toilet paper after peeing is that girls' pee has tiny, microscopic green aliens in it that colonise the bladder shortly after birth. The aliens' main weakness is paper fibers which kills them instantly. If women didn't wipe after peeing, these aliens would flourish and eventually take over the world. You don't want that, do you? Glad I could help.
THE_A_TEEN 28
ricerboy, is there a chance that you may be mentally challanged? If so, there are women (a woman is a different species, since you dont know) that I know that will teach you how it works down there...
gurly98 13
Gee idk wait EVERYONE DOES BITCH
CloverFuchs 6
You did ask a very silly question, but since no one is bothering to answer it, I will explain. Women urinate from a urinary tract concealed behind the labia or 'vaginal lips'. Because of this, it's extremely difficult for them to pee without getting it on or around the area. Although they technically could just pee and be done with it, that'd be very uncomfortable, so they wipe down there to clear everything up.
NEEPLES 7
Once again docbastard pulling out legitimate scientific reasoning.
flockz 20
i'm going to go buy some poison now. gotta kill all these little green bitches running around my house... my girlfriend thinks she is just so funny.
TrouserPython 3
Please tell me you didn't flush the toilet... (tries to forget the nightmare)
every1luvsboners 11
Just pull them out of the toilet, set them to the side and start using them every time that you go to the restroom. Only you can save the earf.
Jonexs 1
Cool story bro
ricerboy 0
Didnt see the gender thing, makes sense now haha
jake1632 9
i can imagine the whistling sound as that flew over your head.
joensabxy 1
So you never use TP for you dick? I bet you don't wash your hands either -.-
poppylamonzo 0
I'm going to guess your socks?? Just an estimate..
Savra_fml 17
What is your estimation? Two?
melissaxo3 1
so I'm guessing its time to call a plumber.
Smallazn 3
At least they were already wet. But seriously, not a big deal. They're socks.
loserman67 36
"CALL ROTO ROOTER, THAT'S THE NAME, AND AWAY GO TROUBLES DOWN THE DRAIN!" I guessing the socks got a swirly. The real question here is: Did you also wipe with the socks? I hope you remembered the golden rule, "Always wipe front to back!"
FreshlyCut 0
This fml socks