Today, I rushed home during a torrential downpour. When I got back, I went to take a pee and took off my wet socks while I had the chance. Once I finished, I stood up with used toilet paper in one hand and wet socks in the other. Guess which I tossed into the toilet. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in the bathroom at the mall and the toilet paper had ran out. I had to use the socks I'd just bought. FML
Today, I woke up, put on my fuzzy socks, walked down my hallway, and stepped in cat vomit. I took off my now wet socks, continued walking down the hallway, and stepped barefoot in cat shit. FML
Today, I went to change my socks after I stepped in a puddle of water. As I walked out of my bedroom with a fresh pair of socks, I stepped in the puddle again. Three times. That's four pairs of socks ruined. God, I'm such a dumbass sometimes. FML
Today, after a 2-hour meeting, I rushed to take an urgent dump. Unbeknownst to me, my urine was not hitting the porcelain bowl, but rather the underside of the lid. As it pooled around the pedestal, it soaked my pants, underwear, and when I stood up to button my pants, it got on my shirt too. FML
Today, I woke up desperately needing to pee. I sat up in bed, naked, and tried to decide if I should get dressed, or run for it and hope no one saw me. I guess I took too long to decide, because as soon as I stood up to run, I pissed on the floor. FML
Today, I was shopping in a mall when I needed to go to the bathroom. One of the toilets was out of order, so I went to the other toilet. After that, there was no toilet paper, so when I saw tissue in the sink, I left the stall with my pants down and someone saw me. FML
Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML
Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML
Today, after racing home with a jumbo package of toilet paper, I ran into my house to go to the bathroom. I then realized I'd left the toilet paper in the car. FML
Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML
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Top comments
Buttsexpirate 9
Umm, umm, umm I can't do it! I just can't do it. Tell me please, the suspense is killing me!
RomanBeauty 0
Why would you stand up before using toilet paper? Or- if it was used, why wouldnt you just toss it in right after you used it? Gross- either way.
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Comments (145)
Calyx_fml 22
Odd that you stand up before dropping the tp.
leadman1989 16
You kept the toilet paper? Eww!
MissLyonsBaby 4
Don't think that counts as an FML
JinxosGirl87 0
I would have threw the wet socks on the floor after taking them off instead of continuing to hold them. Wet socks are icky.
MEXIKANO 0
Toilet paper...right?
hoonyer 17
Did you put the other one on your feet?
robc32ca 4
Odd I wipe and drop. I don't stand up with it in my hand... We're you checking it as a ink blot test?
shrdlu 28
Yes, that method is the latest advance in psychiatry.
Sniper3000 0
I'm guessing it was the wet socks
dmadsen33 9
I do things like that all the time, too.! I can't go a month without throwing something in the toilet which isn't meant for the toilet... My earrings, my cellphone, a deodorant at one time... I guess I need a bigger bathroom. O.o
dwsgirl 8
You tossed it in the toilet? In Brazil? YDI for not knowing better. Even if it hadn't been the sock, you still would have clogged it all...