Today, I remembered my mom got her carpet cleaned and to be careful while she was at work. To be nice, I vacuumed the whole house. Feeling proud of myself, I got a drink and went upstairs. I tripped and spilled red Kool-Aid all over the floor. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I drank cocktails and shots. On the way home, I had to pee so bad that I only got to the front door and peed all over our carpet. My mom saw the whole thing and my dad saw the aftermath with the super drenched carpet and shoes. My mom had to mop the floor after I ran to the bathroom. FML
Today, I spent hours cleaning the kitchen that my slob roommates always neglect. I scrubbed the floor, emptied the fridge, washed all the dishes, etc. When I was done, I was thirsty so I got myself a soda. I opened the can, and it exploded and sprayed everything I had just washed. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and punched me in the nose, then yelled at me for bleeding on the carpet. FML
Today, I mopped all the floors in my house. When I was finally done, I accidentally knocked over an open bottle of soda. My cats took this as a perfect opportunity to chase each other around, step in the soda, and track sticky paw prints everywhere. FML
Today, while attempting to sneak out of my boyfriend's parents' house during my walk of shame, I fell down the stairs, spilling cherry coke all over myself, their walls, and the carpet. FML
Today, I was craving a cold Coke, so I grabbed one from the freezer where I had put it to chill quickly. As soon as I opened it, the can exploded all over me and the kitchen. I spent the next hour cleaning sticky residue off the floor, surrounding furniture, and even the ceiling. FML
Today, while waiting on tables at work, I was carrying a glass of red wine when I lost balance and spilt it everywhere. After cleaning the floor and myself up and after refilling a new glass, I did exactly the same thing again. FML
Today, after cleaning my house, I decided to treat myself with a glass of wine. I poured the wine, set it down, and came back just in time to see my cat push it off the table. I then yelled at her, which scared her so much she pissed on the carpet. FML
Today, while working in my shop, I was mopping the floor. A customer saw what I was doing, grabbed a bottle of Coca-Cola from the shelf, and poured it all over the floor where I had just finished mopping. FML
Today, my mom was in the kitchen when her shirt caught on fire. Acting quickly, I poured my glass of water on her. Instead of thanking me, she yelled at me for making a mess. FML
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Top comments
TheLoneWolf87 4
OH YEEEAH!!!!!
snafu57 1
you should have remembered the first rule of fml, which is: "No good deed goes unpunished." Or maybe it's the second or third rule. I forget.
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Comments (69)
andchick0506 0
bahahaha :) it's not as bad as buying a new house, throwing a new years party. then a 12 year old get drunk and throw up all over the place. that was me :(
elmoatemysocks 0
Next time, use a sippy cup. :D
liuken 3
Dont drink the kool aid
TrollTrollTroll 0
snake!? SNAKE! SNAAAAAAKE!
terriibabiiix23 0
your mom is sooooio gonna kill ya (:
Skullcrusher 5
You are definitely a dumb ****.
MeiryTron 0
Epic Fucken Failure. -nods-
THEYHATE_ME 0
you should have never been drinking red juice in the first place at least you could of gotten clear cool aid damn
DeadMansCrack 4
So, your mom's carpet is red?
SpiderButter 0
Club soda should get it out. Especially if you had applied that immediately after the spill.