Today, I remembered my mom got her carpet cleaned and to be careful while she was at work. To be nice, I vacuumed the whole house. Feeling proud of myself, I got a drink and went upstairs. I tripped and spilled red Kool-Aid all over the floor. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I drank cocktails and shots. On the way home, I had to pee so bad that I only got to the front door and peed all over our carpet. My mom saw the whole thing and my dad saw the aftermath with the super drenched carpet and shoes. My mom had to mop the floor after I ran to the bathroom. FML
Today, I spent hours cleaning the kitchen that my slob roommates always neglect. I scrubbed the floor, emptied the fridge, washed all the dishes, etc. When I was done, I was thirsty so I got myself a soda. I opened the can, and it exploded and sprayed everything I had just washed. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and punched me in the nose, then yelled at me for bleeding on the carpet. FML
Today, I mopped all the floors in my house. When I was finally done, I accidentally knocked over an open bottle of soda. My cats took this as a perfect opportunity to chase each other around, step in the soda, and track sticky paw prints everywhere. FML
Today, while attempting to sneak out of my boyfriend's parents' house during my walk of shame, I fell down the stairs, spilling cherry coke all over myself, their walls, and the carpet. FML
Today, I was craving a cold Coke, so I grabbed one from the freezer where I had put it to chill quickly. As soon as I opened it, the can exploded all over me and the kitchen. I spent the next hour cleaning sticky residue off the floor, surrounding furniture, and even the ceiling. FML
Today, while waiting on tables at work, I was carrying a glass of red wine when I lost balance and spilt it everywhere. After cleaning the floor and myself up and after refilling a new glass, I did exactly the same thing again. FML
Today, after cleaning my house, I decided to treat myself with a glass of wine. I poured the wine, set it down, and came back just in time to see my cat push it off the table. I then yelled at her, which scared her so much she pissed on the carpet. FML
Today, while working in my shop, I was mopping the floor. A customer saw what I was doing, grabbed a bottle of Coca-Cola from the shelf, and poured it all over the floor where I had just finished mopping. FML
Today, my mom was in the kitchen when her shirt caught on fire. Acting quickly, I poured my glass of water on her. Instead of thanking me, she yelled at me for making a mess. FML
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Top comments
TheLoneWolf87 4
OH YEEEAH!!!!!
snafu57 1
you should have remembered the first rule of fml, which is: "No good deed goes unpunished." Or maybe it's the second or third rule. I forget.
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Comments (69)
ensemble_coeur 0
yeah, the OP did say that the kool-aid was red.
Tlizzle 0
Shout gets everything out. Even drunk people's puke on your couch.
itatiannaR 0
you shoulda got water!
psychoxxxinvader 3
DON'T DRINK THE KOOL-AID!
rub_a_dub_dub 0
If your mom already got the carpet cleaned, why would you need to vacuum it？
KelMarCos 3
agreed. either the op is an idiot, or this is fake. because i always love cleaning carpets which are already clean.
boatkicker 5
Maybe they only got the carpet cleaned in certain rooms, so OP vacuumed the rest of the house. Or maybe OP is one of those people who vacuums hardwood/ tile floors. Or maybe the carpet was cleaned a week ago (hence the 'remembering' bit) and so it had been walked on much so there was probably stuff to vacuum out of it.
SouthernGuy89 0
haha
jonny2x4 0
Sorry everybody. I never really got past the line, "Today, I remembered my mom got her carpet cleaned...". Not sure why.
NitemareB4Xmasx3 0
absolutely no common sense. but from one clutz to another, should've seen it comin sweetheart. lol xD
JS000 0
Why would you need to vacuum if she got her carpet cleaned? If it was cleaned a month ago, your mom is just paranoid. Also, did you clean it up? Kool-Aid responds well to water. She might not even have noticed.
JS000 0
oops. repeat.