Today, I received an email from an ex who I haven't heard from in two years. Excited that it might be her asking if we could meet up, I opened it. It was a virus. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I finally read an email I'd been avoiding. I thought it would be from my dad whom I haven't spoken to in years, and that he was checking on me during the pandemic. It turned out to be spam. The last contact I had with anyone related to my dad was one of his ex's friends, saying she was in jail and needed help. FML
Today, my ex, whom I haven't seen in two years, contacted me. She was great company back in the day, wild in bed, the most attractive person I've ever dated, and totally uninterested in a serious relationship. She wants me to fix her computer. FML
Today, my ex, who I'm still in love with, emailed me. I thought she changed her mind about us, so I poured my heart out to her. She just wanted to let me know she has chlamydia, and advise me to go to the clinic. FML
Today, I discovered my ex has been signing my email up for various newsletters. I knew I was getting a lot of spam, but didn't know why. It became apparent when one of these emails had his name in it. FML
Today, my wife’s ex-boyfriend sent me a message with a screenshot of her trying to get in touch with him. FML
Today, someone I used to know got in touch with me, after I hadn't heard from him in years. He insisted that we met up as soon as possible, and wanted me to go to his house that afternoon. I spent the afternoon repairing his computer. Since then, no news. FML
Today, my creepy, stalker ex-girlfriend was given an anonymous love letter. She's convinced it's from me. FML
Today, I received an email saying, "Thinking of you and hoping you are taking care." It was from the love of my life. We broke up 20 years ago. Previously, we had contact every 5+ years. It's just too late. FML
Today, I got spammed and bitched at by my ex-girlfriend from high school because she found out I didn't even have feelings for her. It was 3 years ago. FML
Today, I sent a Facebook friend request to my ex. This afternoon I notice that they had accepted, and had left a message for me in my inbox. Asking how they knew me. FML
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Top comments
_Damien_ 0
She gave you cyber herpes >.< that bitch!!
perdix 31
After two years of shoring around after she left you, you should be glad she didn't want to meet you. She could have given you a much worse virus then.
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Comments (169)
joshp406 0
is it the "**** you dickwad" virus?
perdix 31
After two years of shoring around after she left you, you should be glad she didn't want to meet you. She could have given you a much worse virus then.
misfitSuperStar 0
WIN!!!
brianjman14 23
Why are you always going like "WIN WIN WIN!!!" on everyone's comments? Like, not trying to be mean, but that's all I see you ever post. But still, Perdex's post was a win. Haha.
Schizomaniac 24
His name is Perdix, damn it! One time is fine, but 2 times is inexcusable! Punish yourself!
brianjman14 23
Take it easy... O_o Jeez, 42 sorry.
Schizomaniac 24
All if forgiven.
Schizomaniac 24
Fail. Is* I do not deserve life.
misfitSuperStar 0
35- You're not stalking me right! Otherwise, you'd see this is not so.
Emma Marshall 19
Yeah....just cuz they split up means she's 'shoring' around getting diseases....
UpYoursInAdvance 0
**** that bitch up
Anaxes 5
Who gives a shit about a virus? All you have to do is hop on another computer and google the problem. Do what the website tells you to do. Problem solved.
mikey0505 0
lmfoa she is one dirty girl.Ydi you dirty bastard
pster03 0
Go **** in your pants. no 1 cares If u got a virus
awesomesauce8 0
yay...a virus...let's celebrate (inject canned applause here) (douse comment with sarcasm here)
awesomesauce8 0
yay...a virus...let's celebrate (inject canned laughter here) lucky you...you're a winner (douse comment in sarcasm here)
loludeserveit 0
why'd you put the sarcasm at the end? o.O wouldn't it have been more effective at the beginning, and used throughout the comment?
bigbadtim 7
Next time use a fire wall. That's what happens if you don't practice safe on-line sex.
raptorjebus 0
it's better than an STD