Today, I received a death threat from some nutball accusing me of being part of some big government conspiracy called "Haarp." According to this psycho, I'm responsible for causing the recent tornadoes in Oklahoma. I'm just a small-time weatherman. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I've been getting terrifying threats all day. Why? I broke up with my girlfriend and turned her in to the police after she and her friends shared their plan to firebomb a church during Sunday school. I didn't know I was dating a terrorist. I might need a new identity. FML
Today, I received another death threat for teaching evolution in college. I'm a geology teacher. FML
Today, I got a call from my brother-in-law's doctor. Apparently he's made threats and fantasizes about killing me. "Notifying you is the protocol for things like this" he said, and ended the conversation with, "have a nice day." FML
Today, my house was damaged by a tornado. I called my mother to see if I could stay with her for a few days. Her response? "I warned you not to move in with a man. This is God's way of punishing you." I've been married to said man for almost a year now. FML
Today, I went to help a friend move into her new apartment. We were half-way through when it started to rain, and in my anger I yelled that it's like these things happen just to annoy me. Then we heard the tornado sirens. FML
Today, we had a tornado warning and I told my parents I loved them, just in case. My dad just said, "See you in Kansas." FML
Today, I got paper thrown at me because I didn't agree with my classmate's conspiracy theory that Brian Griffin's death was planned by the illuminati. FML
Today, I was harrassed, called a bad mom, and had death wished upon me for getting the Covid vaccine. Apparently, I don't deserve to live because I don't want to die from the virus. FML
Today, my boss told me to fire the unstable, former military, gun nut employee. He's been making death threats to his supervisors. FML
Today, I found out someone, most likely my psycho ex, has been posing as me on local interest websites, trolling a load of people, and giving them my address so they can come fight me. I found this out when a gentleman showed up at my house wanting to beat me shitless. FML
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Top comments
newburton13 26
I thought the stereotype was the weatherman is never right.
akallaan 7
Damn you!
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Comments (136)
SlapAndTickle 20
Ugh, reminds me of my mother spewing shit out all the time, she's one of those psycho religious people. She tried convincing me the Pope was the anti-christ. I regret teaching her how to use the internet. FYL OP.
r4m2k 10
You should type a FML about how you showed your conspiracy theorist/religious mother how to use the internet. Because, really dude, when that happens, FYL.
iamsophie 13
That HAARP thing is old news, he must have only just stumbled over it or something!
BimmerDriver 23
That's when you offer to show him your blowing skills.
avapaige1234 19
Today, I'm just a small-time weatherman. FML This could have passed enough as FML
worldclassrager 41
Well reporting them and tracking them is your job and how can an average Joe cause a tornado? And in all places tornado alley?
Getspmak 15
I rarely like Our local weatherman, but death threats - that's like killing cows cause your milk went sour...
Major_General 10
I'm guessing you're not a weatherman in Oklahoma.
EUPHORlA 12
The Illuminati crap and now this... People need to stop pointing fingers and quit being paranoid about things.
twinkiefeets 17
Welcome to the big time! You know you've made it when you get death threats!!! Congrats.
Getspmak 15
The Weathermen are upon us!