Today, I received a death threat from some nutball accusing me of being part of some big government conspiracy called "Haarp." According to this psycho, I'm responsible for causing the recent tornadoes in Oklahoma. I'm just a small-time weatherman. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I've been getting terrifying threats all day. Why? I broke up with my girlfriend and turned her in to the police after she and her friends shared their plan to firebomb a church during Sunday school. I didn't know I was dating a terrorist. I might need a new identity. FML
Today, I received another death threat for teaching evolution in college. I'm a geology teacher. FML
Today, I got a call from my brother-in-law's doctor. Apparently he's made threats and fantasizes about killing me. "Notifying you is the protocol for things like this" he said, and ended the conversation with, "have a nice day." FML
Today, my house was damaged by a tornado. I called my mother to see if I could stay with her for a few days. Her response? "I warned you not to move in with a man. This is God's way of punishing you." I've been married to said man for almost a year now. FML
Today, I went to help a friend move into her new apartment. We were half-way through when it started to rain, and in my anger I yelled that it's like these things happen just to annoy me. Then we heard the tornado sirens. FML
Today, we had a tornado warning and I told my parents I loved them, just in case. My dad just said, "See you in Kansas." FML
Today, I got paper thrown at me because I didn't agree with my classmate's conspiracy theory that Brian Griffin's death was planned by the illuminati. FML
Today, I was harrassed, called a bad mom, and had death wished upon me for getting the Covid vaccine. Apparently, I don't deserve to live because I don't want to die from the virus. FML
Today, my boss told me to fire the unstable, former military, gun nut employee. He's been making death threats to his supervisors. FML
Today, I found out someone, most likely my psycho ex, has been posing as me on local interest websites, trolling a load of people, and giving them my address so they can come fight me. I found this out when a gentleman showed up at my house wanting to beat me shitless. FML
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Top comments
newburton13 26
I thought the stereotype was the weatherman is never right.
akallaan 7
Damn you!
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Comments (136)
graceinsheepwear 34
HAARP is an actual government project though. Google it. Of course, I'm sure OP has nothing to do with it, but it is a real weather-related project.
monnanon 14
that may be but i seriously doubt it being used to create massive tornados to attack the American people.
kzai 16
HAARP is nothing to joke about!
CrazedOut 2
hahahahahahaha, this world... LOL
sdahl1113 4
Weatherman is the only job I know of where you can be wrong repeatedly and not get fired.
HarroIAmBob 21
well this proves some people just vote ydi for every FML
the_loveliest3 6
you're the weather god disguised as a small time weatherman. he figured out your secret :0 well played weather god, well played.
captainleezy 10
Being a weatherman is an easy job you can be wrong and get a raise from it..Psh
Bcfrmkc816 17
Why does it suck? You can be wrong half the time and still draw a good pay check.
PureEvil666 3
I must join HAARP, I wonder how tornado targeting systems work.
Johnson_Mcgee 1
How dare you ssspeak about the Weather Dominator on the internet! Consssider your ssservice in COBRA sssussspended!