Today, I realized just how much of a bitch I am when I grounded my son for not telling me what he got me for my birthday. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad forgot it's my birthday. When I told him about it, he accused me of lying and threatened to ground me for a week. FML
Today, after my mom picked me up from the mall, she asked me what was in my bag from Gap. I wouldn't tell her, and she ended up grounding me. It was her Mother's Day present. FML
Today, I grounded my son after finding out that he's been bullying other kids at school. He got mad and screamed at me, calling me a "bastard". Instead of defending me, my wife got pissed and accused me of having taught our son to swear like that. I can never win. FML
Today, I'm mad at my dad for forgetting it's my birthday. He's mad at me for not reminding him. FML
Today, I got grounded because I didn't go to my dog's birthday party. FML
Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML
Today, I was a little grumpy. I tried my best to not take it out on other people, but then I encountered that ONE person who doesn't realize that sometimes people are just in a bad mood, and they proceed to give you a hard time over nothing. That person was my mom. And then later my dad. Now I'm grounded. FML
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend, since we weren't getting along. When I got home, I remembered that today is his birthday. Him and all our friends now think I'm a total bitch. FML
Today, I've been so stressed out that I forgot my own birthday. I only remembered when my mom talked to me to let me know she wasn't planning on doing anything for it. FML
Today, rather than get me a birthday present, my boyfriend just got angry that I got gifts from other people. Apparently, it "made him feel guilty." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
gabfoundnemo 5
Admitting it is the first step. To rehab you go.
Vball6 19
Bitch.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (311)
cawoods 1
Whata loser
masterofdouchery 1
I really hope "my mom grounded me for not telling her what I got her for her birthday. FML" shows up soon
Dev_L667 0
i hope he returned your gift and spent the money on himself.
dreadedguardian 5
Lol...silly bitch.
shamonie22 9
At least you can admit that you're a bitch. A lot of people are bitches and don't even know it or won't admit it.
ianderson818 4
Wow! You are a bitch!
simonepedretti 7
Wtf thts horrible
beclaurela 18
You are a bitch. Wonder what your son thinks of you because he has to deal with you on a daily basis.
santel_fml 8
Massive bitch
Roo79 1
I hope this child has a dad around that's not an ass to balance out his veiw on life or he'll get end up on a bell tower with a rifle! Selfish cow!