Today, I realized I can never live with my fiancée. A childhood of systematic teasing, abuse, and humiliation has made me terrified to use a bathroom around a guy if there's the slightest chance I can be heard, seen, or even have anyone know what I'm up to. Therapy has yet to fix anything. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finally told my boyfriend that I see a therapist every week because, amongst other things, I'm terrified of being locked in a room. He didn't believe me, so he locked me in the bathroom "for a laugh." I had a panic attack and passed out. FML
Today, I still have my ridiculous fear of being heard on the toilet, and I can't go if people are around. I'd just sat down on the toilet when three of my housemates started chatting immediately outside the door. I had to sit silently until they were gone. For half an hour. FML
Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, and had to run to the bathroom to evacuate my bowels. She heard the horrible sounds, and I doubt I'll ever be able to seduce her again. FML
Today, despite my fear of using public restrooms, I was forced to anyway to avoid my bladder exploding. I was finally getting over it when someone stuck their head under the stall to "see if someone's in there". I'm scared more now than I was before. FML
Today, my boyfriend threatened to break up with me because I still close the door when I go to the bathroom. He pees and poops with the door wide open and expects me to do the same. FML
Today, I accidentally walked in on my girlfriend changing. She responded by screaming, throwing herself on the ground to avoid me seeing her, and crawling into the bathroom. We've been living together for two months. FML
Today, I found out that both my boyfriend and his brother feel completely comfortable going into the bathroom and talking to their mother while she is on the toilet. FML
Today, and for the last week, I've resorted to driving myself to the nearest corner store to take my daily dump. I'm doing this because I recently moved in with my boyfriend, and I'm afraid he'll be disgusted at how often I clog the toilet. FML
Today, I was speaking with my therapist about future romantic endeavors. I'm currently separating from my husband of three years. I feel it's unlikely I will ever date again, and I've developed a phobia of sex over the past year. It's so severe that I cannot even masturbate. Destined to die alone. FML
Today, I admitted my fear of small spaces to my boyfriend. His response was to immediately lock me in the hall closet. FML
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Top comments
cursesonyourmom 1
buy a little radio and play it in the bathroom. even if your just putting on makeup. that way he can't hear you and doesn't know what your doing.
lolorly 0
"If you have to shit, shit! If you have to fart, fart! You will feel much better for it." ~Mao Tse-tung
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Comments (235)
amyrae12 0
Jeez, I have this fear (not this bad) and I wasn't abused as a kid! I'm happily married for 8yrs with a child (and yes, I pooped on the table and at that point I really didn't care). In case the OP is reading the remarks, some strategies: poop just before showering, but turn the water on first. He'll think you take long showers, but so what? Get a 2 floor place with half bath down and use the toilet on the other floor. The best: Go home for lunch....he'll be at work and you'll have the place to yourself!
llema 0
Look up paruresis. There are help groups, which apparently work. You might be able to get used to it? Or fall into some routine where he's not around (e.g. leaves for work before you) giving you time use the bathroom. Or, if your toilet is in the same room as the shower then say you're going to take a shower, turn on the water, and use the loo before going in the shower. And even if it's difficult, you can't just NOT go to the loo, (because as much as your body won't let you, eventually it has to), so you will end up finding some way. Please don't let this control your life, I appreciate how hard it can be...
urbandale00 0
Suck it up wow!
altaira_fml 0
#147 You are sick. Someone with a phobia as a result of abuse is a "mental nutjob"? I seriously hope you live in a cave somewhere and don't interact with human beings.
linamerri 0
GET OVER IT! everyone does it.. so stop caring so much about what he thinks and just take a shit
allysgotstyle 0
Dude, its not like he's in the ******* bathroom when you're taking a ******* piss and and shit. Make him go outside or ******* tell him to stay in on spot when you go to the bathroom
bethimar 0
I checked before I posted this, but just to add my yells to the little chorus here... GET AN OUTHOUSE!! Then you can work on your issues by realizing your poor bum is gonna freeze if you don't get past it. It's much simpler when there are direct consequences every time. :P
FockinA 0
use a radio. loud.
stormin972 0
Everybody ***** sometimes. No big deal... unless you have taco bell.
pabloinbama 0
you're a big girl now. get rid of the huggies and friggn grow up. you're an adult now so get over it