Today, I realized I can never live with my fiancée. A childhood of systematic teasing, abuse, and humiliation has made me terrified to use a bathroom around a guy if there's the slightest chance I can be heard, seen, or even have anyone know what I'm up to. Therapy has yet to fix anything. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finally told my boyfriend that I see a therapist every week because, amongst other things, I'm terrified of being locked in a room. He didn't believe me, so he locked me in the bathroom "for a laugh." I had a panic attack and passed out. FML
Today, I still have my ridiculous fear of being heard on the toilet, and I can't go if people are around. I'd just sat down on the toilet when three of my housemates started chatting immediately outside the door. I had to sit silently until they were gone. For half an hour. FML
Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, and had to run to the bathroom to evacuate my bowels. She heard the horrible sounds, and I doubt I'll ever be able to seduce her again. FML
Today, despite my fear of using public restrooms, I was forced to anyway to avoid my bladder exploding. I was finally getting over it when someone stuck their head under the stall to "see if someone's in there". I'm scared more now than I was before. FML
Today, my boyfriend threatened to break up with me because I still close the door when I go to the bathroom. He pees and poops with the door wide open and expects me to do the same. FML
Today, I accidentally walked in on my girlfriend changing. She responded by screaming, throwing herself on the ground to avoid me seeing her, and crawling into the bathroom. We've been living together for two months. FML
Today, I found out that both my boyfriend and his brother feel completely comfortable going into the bathroom and talking to their mother while she is on the toilet. FML
Today, and for the last week, I've resorted to driving myself to the nearest corner store to take my daily dump. I'm doing this because I recently moved in with my boyfriend, and I'm afraid he'll be disgusted at how often I clog the toilet. FML
Today, I was speaking with my therapist about future romantic endeavors. I'm currently separating from my husband of three years. I feel it's unlikely I will ever date again, and I've developed a phobia of sex over the past year. It's so severe that I cannot even masturbate. Destined to die alone. FML
Today, I admitted my fear of small spaces to my boyfriend. His response was to immediately lock me in the hall closet. FML
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Top comments
cursesonyourmom 1
buy a little radio and play it in the bathroom. even if your just putting on makeup. that way he can't hear you and doesn't know what your doing.
lolorly 0
"If you have to shit, shit! If you have to fart, fart! You will feel much better for it." ~Mao Tse-tung
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Comments (235)
sidvoltaire 0
get a catheter bag
terror_twins 0
i know how that feels. my boyfriend has convinced himself that girls don't have bodily functions so, I can't ever stay at his house, because I have stomach problems.
blackirish44 0
If you can't shit around your boyfriend or girlfriend then your not ready to get married. That's just the beginning of the trip down the rabbit hole.
QueenWasp 0
I was like that as well when I first moved in with my fiance. You will adjust to it, I promise. Do not let those assholes that ruined your school years ruin the rest of your life. **** them, they're shit.
sweatteaforme001 0
I've found that the best ways to get over fears is to just do it, even if your scared. Just try, even if you chicken out. Most of the time, if you tell yourself you have nothing to fear, you'll eventually believe it. Try baby steps, like explaining your problem to your fiance and asking him not to go near the bathroom when you are in there. Get comfortable with it slowly. If your fiance truly loves you, he'll be patient and work through it with you. Then again, I never had a phobia that required therapy. Maybe this won't help. But whatever happens, you shouldn't deprive yourself of a life with the man you love. And Congrats on the engagement!
Chopperman_fml 0
Why don't you just ask him if it disturbs him to hear you? If he says no, then the problem is solved. If he cares about you, he'll work through it with you.
iwantone 0
I have the same issue. Everywhere I go I turn the water on full blast when I use the potty. I have the same thing when I eat. it makes me nervous. But OP, if you love him and he loves you, he will have no issue with you "releaving" yourself and you should just try your best not to let it bother you. Talk to him about it.
capricaz 0
I have the same thing :/ Didn't help that I got sick one day and was dumped a few days later. The reason? Still don't know, but this could be one of them.
wellaintit_irony 0
okay, so i had to learn thi. it was a big problem. you have to just fight to not care. and go, you have to make youself once and then it'll be soooo much easier. **** communal bathrooms.
t0xicfaerie 4
dont worry :( i'm awkward about certain things too but if he loves you he won't make fun of you. if he teased you for anything, i'm sure he'd just mean it in a loving way, thinking something you did was cute. :)