Today, I realized how boring and sexually deprived my life is when I found a gas station ten cents cheaper than the one I usually use. It gave me both an asthma attack and an erection, simultaneously. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I awoke from a dream that I'd found an Arco gas station that had regular gas for $3.38. I actually went looking for it. FML
Today, I pulled into the gas station to fill up only to realize I had forgot my wallet. By the time I went home, got it, and came back, the price had gone up eleven cents. FML
Today, my wife and I were driving to the gas station, she let me out before she pulled up to the pumps because I had to buy some things from the store. I returned to see my wife proudly filling the tank. Smiling, she told me that diesel was cheaper than regular gas. We don't own a diesel car. FML
Today, I went to the gas station, paid the clerk, and drove off without pumping any gas. FML
Today, I have spent the last two hours at work looking for the gas pump model of a different gas station than the one I usually go to, only because I don’t want to be embarrassed if I don't know how to use it. All thanks to my crippling anxiety. FML
Today, I was sitting at home when I remembered that I desperately needed gas for my car. On my way there, I prayed that my car would make it the whole way, and was thankful when I pulled up to the pump, because I knew my car wouldn't go any further. Then I realized I left my wallet at my house. FML
Today, when paying for gas, I realized I'd forgotten my wallet back home. After a moment of panic, I managed to remember my card number. I paid, blowing the cute cashier's mind, and drove away, before my car started sputtering and slowed to a crawl. I'd used the wrong fuel. FML
Today, I realized that I spend more money on gas to go to my job than what I get paid. FML
Today, I stopped at the gas station to fill up my tank and get some snacks. I paid the cashier, then got back into my car, totally forgetting to pump the $50 worth of fuel I'd just prepaid for. Too bad I didn't realize until my car came to a sputtering stop about a mile down the road. FML
Today, while pumping gas, I stopped to think about what a failure my life is, and how badly I've treated people in my past. While deep in thought, I accidentally pulled the gas pump out too far and covered myself with gasoline. FML
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Top comments
JandTaco 13
But didn't it feel great?
Zelphoric 25
Whoa buddy, calm down :p
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Comments (91)
DevilsMetsGiants 30
Well that escalated quickly
martin8337 36
Until you meet someone, a hooker will have to do.
invadermaythe1st 35
This is my new favourite fml.
Raging_hamster 5
Who hell cares about sex.. I can go the rest of my life without it.
hippo1234 19
People who aren't asexual? People who want children the original way? People who have a good sexual partner? A lot of people care about sex.
INDYSTRUCTABLE 43
maybe your doing it wrong ....
erichsalvesen 13
If you're into dudes, I can help with part of your issue!
bazookajoey 27
That's hot.
Mauskau 36
I do get quite excited when I see cheap diesel prices, mind you. Especially when I need to fill up as I fill the entire tank at a time. It can be a difference between £75 and £80 sometimes..
todlich 4
With the way gas prices are these days, I'd probably get a hard-on too. Hell I remember when it was $1.89.
worldclassrager 41
I can't imagine you when gas prices drop
cookie1207 19
10 cents cheaper??!! Hell yeah!!! Im sort of turned on right now by thinking about it!!!