Today, I realized how boring and sexually deprived my life is when I found a gas station ten cents cheaper than the one I usually use. It gave me both an asthma attack and an erection, simultaneously. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I awoke from a dream that I'd found an Arco gas station that had regular gas for $3.38. I actually went looking for it. FML
Today, I pulled into the gas station to fill up only to realize I had forgot my wallet. By the time I went home, got it, and came back, the price had gone up eleven cents. FML
Today, my wife and I were driving to the gas station, she let me out before she pulled up to the pumps because I had to buy some things from the store. I returned to see my wife proudly filling the tank. Smiling, she told me that diesel was cheaper than regular gas. We don't own a diesel car. FML
Today, I went to the gas station, paid the clerk, and drove off without pumping any gas. FML
Today, I have spent the last two hours at work looking for the gas pump model of a different gas station than the one I usually go to, only because I don’t want to be embarrassed if I don't know how to use it. All thanks to my crippling anxiety. FML
Today, I was sitting at home when I remembered that I desperately needed gas for my car. On my way there, I prayed that my car would make it the whole way, and was thankful when I pulled up to the pump, because I knew my car wouldn't go any further. Then I realized I left my wallet at my house. FML
Today, when paying for gas, I realized I'd forgotten my wallet back home. After a moment of panic, I managed to remember my card number. I paid, blowing the cute cashier's mind, and drove away, before my car started sputtering and slowed to a crawl. I'd used the wrong fuel. FML
Today, I realized that I spend more money on gas to go to my job than what I get paid. FML
Today, I stopped at the gas station to fill up my tank and get some snacks. I paid the cashier, then got back into my car, totally forgetting to pump the $50 worth of fuel I'd just prepaid for. Too bad I didn't realize until my car came to a sputtering stop about a mile down the road. FML
Today, while pumping gas, I stopped to think about what a failure my life is, and how badly I've treated people in my past. While deep in thought, I accidentally pulled the gas pump out too far and covered myself with gasoline. FML
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Top comments
JandTaco 13
But didn't it feel great?
Zelphoric 25
Whoa buddy, calm down :p
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Comments (91)
buckdharma 38
Getting your kicks at Phillips 66? Hard on at the Exxon? Op's chubby at the BP?
annonymous8 6
Must have been the best 10 cents you've ever saved.
Sirmrcrowley 12
Same thing happened to me when I found out Taco Bell now has breakfast!! But it all went away very fast due to the Taco Bell bubble guts!! They should give everyone a free back squeegee with every meal!!
ruxtain 15
We obviously have different reasons for erection.
alicat13 12
0800-dial-a-shrink
thatguystack 10
It sucks because this is my post and I posted it under that long distance guy because I couldn't believe it happened. But now I realize how boring everything is considering I was so happy because of all the attention it actually got I decided to sign up on FML.
plunkit 6
Where exactly did you insert the nozzle?
thatguystack 10
The question is not where the nozzle was inserted...
millertime911 15
sounds like u have issues...lol! I'm sorry but all men **********, so u can't be that frustrated!! that's just a funny thing to be THAT excited about. I guess, to each his own...lol! naw, really OP, just playin! fyl tho, for real!
10showgirl 16
I'd be that excited too!
AntiDramaQueen 2
Well come on, don't keep that action for yourself! Mama needs some action too... :P