Today, I realized how boring and sexually deprived my life is when I found a gas station ten cents cheaper than the one I usually use. It gave me both an asthma attack and an erection, simultaneously. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I awoke from a dream that I'd found an Arco gas station that had regular gas for $3.38. I actually went looking for it. FML
Today, I pulled into the gas station to fill up only to realize I had forgot my wallet. By the time I went home, got it, and came back, the price had gone up eleven cents. FML
Today, my wife and I were driving to the gas station, she let me out before she pulled up to the pumps because I had to buy some things from the store. I returned to see my wife proudly filling the tank. Smiling, she told me that diesel was cheaper than regular gas. We don't own a diesel car. FML
Today, I went to the gas station, paid the clerk, and drove off without pumping any gas. FML
Today, I have spent the last two hours at work looking for the gas pump model of a different gas station than the one I usually go to, only because I don’t want to be embarrassed if I don't know how to use it. All thanks to my crippling anxiety. FML
Today, I was sitting at home when I remembered that I desperately needed gas for my car. On my way there, I prayed that my car would make it the whole way, and was thankful when I pulled up to the pump, because I knew my car wouldn't go any further. Then I realized I left my wallet at my house. FML
Today, when paying for gas, I realized I'd forgotten my wallet back home. After a moment of panic, I managed to remember my card number. I paid, blowing the cute cashier's mind, and drove away, before my car started sputtering and slowed to a crawl. I'd used the wrong fuel. FML
Today, I realized that I spend more money on gas to go to my job than what I get paid. FML
Today, I stopped at the gas station to fill up my tank and get some snacks. I paid the cashier, then got back into my car, totally forgetting to pump the $50 worth of fuel I'd just prepaid for. Too bad I didn't realize until my car came to a sputtering stop about a mile down the road. FML
Today, while pumping gas, I stopped to think about what a failure my life is, and how badly I've treated people in my past. While deep in thought, I accidentally pulled the gas pump out too far and covered myself with gasoline. FML
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Top comments
JandTaco 13
But didn't it feel great?
Zelphoric 25
Whoa buddy, calm down :p
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Comments (91)
Kevlar_burrito 6
It's the small things in life...
bobo_the_bear 5
Good thing the gas wasn't 11 cents cheaper because you might have needed a change of pants.
doumtabarnack 12
That's called auto-erotic asphyxia
cosmicriver 17
With the gas prices being so high these days, that does not surprise me. In fact, I would probably have the same reaction, minus the erection, of course. That would be odd, seeing as I am a girl.
thatguystack 10
To make matters worse I went out of state today and found it dropped another 20 cents. My life is full of arousal by gas prices
drizzy11 18
I don't blame ya, gas is expensive as **** these days
Sniper_Chick4110 20
I'm sure the gas station attendant appreciated your enthusiasm. ;)
TaterTot541 4
I'd get aroused over 10cent/gal cheaper everyone should that's a good score there lol
mchmelev1993 10
Ever heard of ****? Lol
Fuzy2K 7
"I found out the gas was cheaper there and I JIZZED IN MY PANTS"