Today, I realized how amazing I've become at faking orgasms: I made up everything from the noises of my juices to pure, blissful climax over the phone to my husband. He came; I finished putting laundry away. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized just how much my bad sex life has started affecting me, when after not being able to climax from masturbating, I instinctively faked an orgasm. FML
Today, after faking my orgasms for several years, I found out that my boyfriend has been telling his friends that I'm super loose because he doesn't feel anything when I'm cumming. FML
Today, I let my boyfriend finger me for the first time. Today, I also learned, after fifteen very, very long minutes of it, how to fake an orgasm. FML
Today, I realized that sex with my husband has gotten so boring that I'd rather fake an orgasm than let him continue. FML
Today, the quality of my sex life reached a new low. I faked my orgasm. And so did he. FML
Today, I tried faking an orgasm for the first time, because I thought it would be sexy for my boyfriend. He stopped to ask me if I was okay. I guess I'm not good at faking it. FML
Today, after years of secretly faking my orgasms, my husband gave me my first real one. Afterward was also the first time he ever accused me of faking it because, "It was different from all the other times." FML
Today, I lost my virginity. Today, I also learned how to fake an orgasm. Twice. FML
Today, I was having a hot telephone conversation with my boyfriend who lives in another state. Unfortunately, I even have to fake orgasms during phone sex. FML
Today, I decided to fake it when my husband and I were making love. Afterwards, he told me that he could tell my head was "really in the game" and felt a stronger connection with me now and was glad I opened up and "let go" with him. FML
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Top comments
LGuard 13
Oh that's cold.
amayasoma 19
Pleasing your man while doing your chores. You are certainly wife material
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Comments (192)
allmidnighteyes 11
Your relationship is the only thing getting ****** here
Soundslikeothers 15
That would make one hell of a Tide commercial
laurenasabutton 26
"the noise of my juices" made me cringe.
BlesstheSilence 11
allmidnighteyes's "just stir some mac n cheese" made me cringe more.
randomT 3
woman, that's talent. Slightly cold but hey, keeping your man happy
ilovefall10 21
This probably has been said a million times by now, but it's always better to just confront your boyfriend and tell him that whatever he's doing isn't working, try some new things, make it fun for both of you. What's the point if you're not even enjoying intimate with him?
nnnope 26
you'd be surprised at the number of women who fake orgasms because they can't physically achieve them.
Sh3lbs 6
It's harder than you think. You don't want to hurt their feelings or discourage them from trying. I can't bring myself to say"no, not there, HERE!" but you are right, it's unfair to both parties. I know if I sucked at giving head I'd want to know. Never thought of it like that
love_me_electric 20
Maybe she just wasn't in the mood but didn't want to disappoint him? It does say phone sex, so it's not like she could give him tips for how to please her better, she was touching herself.
CattyHead 5
the next practical step is your own 900 number. 1-900-MyJuices
edanielleh 21
I will never understand why some women fake. If i don't like the sex, i'll make suggestions on what to do. I am not going to be like "that really was bad" but i will give constructive criticism. And most guys like to get it. I mean, who really wants to be with someone who isn't having fun? So you totally deserve it. Just tell your husband what to do for once. I am sure he will be excited when you actually start to want sex
Sangue0608 26
I couldn't agree more. I actually live when my wife tells me what she wants, it has and still improves our sex life.
udolipixie 2
Perhaps most guys in your experience like to get it a lot of FML will show quite a lot of guys don't like being told they aren't pleasing their partner and the response tends to be calling the gal a ****, *****, ****, bitch, or acting like she's some oversexed horrible human being for wanting to ****** because apparently she should just enjoy the intimacy/connection of him f*cking her.
perdix 31
If you're so good, you could become a phone sex operator and get someone else to do your laundry for you. Heck, you could get someone else to do your husband for you. ;) As long as you fake it, he thinks he's doing great.
feven 32
I've seen a lot if these on fml lately. I guess making love is a thing of the past.
articnights2 2
So is the term,"making love". You can't make a emotion... ... "We made happy" , "we made upset"?
kelloggg 8
Why fake? May as well just go for it and have fun. If its not working for you then tell him. Surely you're at that stage by now.