Today, I punched the air enthusiastically after getting an impossible question right. Unfortunately, above me was an old fashioned mole trap, with 6 small spikes and 2 large ones. I now have 6 puncture wounds in my hand, and two in my shoulder, as it fell off the hook it was hanging on. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I angrily waved away an annoying fly with a large knife. I stabbed myself in the shoulder. FML
Today, I thought I had a stick stuck in my hair. A very pokey stick. That aggressively bit my face when I tried to get it out of my hair. It was a big ass spider. My face feels like it's been punched. FML
Today, I saw what I thought was a spider. Wanting to kill it as quickly as possible, I smacked my hand against the wall with force. It was a nail. FML
Today, I failed a basic intelligence test when the mouse trap I was setting up snapped on my thumb. Later, when I checked the trap I saw that the mouse had managed to lick all the bait off the trap without being caught, I have a sore thumb and was outsmarted by a rodent. FML
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, there was something itching me in my bed, it was the tag to my pillow case. I ripped it off, very hard and slipped and punched myself right in the face. I broke my nose. FML
Today, I was doing a fitness test. Though clumsy, I managed to spin around a bat then dash across a balance beam, run through some tires, and walk across a log floating in water. Pleased with my performance, I walked to the bathroom, tripped on my shoelace, and bust my head on the floor. FML
Today, I tried to get a piece of glass out of my big toe. After an hour of poking and prodding, I finally got it out only for it to fall on the floor where I couldn't find it. Not five minutes later, I stepped on it again. FML
Today, I managed to fell a tree perfectly. It landed exactly where it should. Today is also the day I managed to Whack-a-Mole in real life. FML
Today, at my local fishing tackle shop, some dumb kids got into a fight and knocked me over into a glass display case of antique fishing hooks. I’m now in hospital, not only from cuts from broken glass, but to have 27 barbed hooks removed from my hands, arms, and face. FML
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Top comments
sarawr 0
Am I the only one who is curious as to where the OP was that there was an old fashioned mole trap above him, and that he was answering a bunch of impossible questions? If anybody could offer any clarification I'd appreciate it. x3 ...otherwise it sounds like a weird gameshow.
null_fml 11
That whole situation is alien to me. I can't even figure out where you were that you "got a question right" underneath a mole trap. I've never even seen or heard of a mole trap before. Kudos to you for blowing my mind.
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Comments (131)
katie_7097 0
clearly he was in a garage or shed of some sort, its ridicoulous how nobody could even pice that together.WOOOOW!
null_fml 11
Oh yeah! My mistake; I spend so much time answering difficult questions while in a garage or shed, I can't believe that thought didn't even cross my mind!
n0lovesongs 0
This is the most bizarrely random FML ever.
mo_the_owl 0
bizarre. and to all of you posting "duh, he was on an underground gameshow with moles!!!! ;]]" please stop. its wasn't funny the first time and its not funny the 5th time.
drewfus2 6
Yes, yes it is.
_Underscore 0
OP, you're not supposed to post FMLs about weird dreams/drug trips you've had.
RatIsKing 0
I believe most fmls. not this one. it's soooo fake
jonny2x4 0
Clearly you are NOT smarter than a 5th grader.
fmlette_fml 0
hahah fail. i feel kind of bad for you. but then again, why the HELL did you have a mole trap above your head?! Idiot! :]
timtam24 0
I don't see how me not having read the wind and the willows means I'm uneducated, but whatever if insulting people over the internet makes you happy then go ahead.
Andyangels27 0
god I hate those rabid curling moles
InQuietNight 0
...what the ****?